Holiday in the UK: friends & relative don't seems bothered!

[Guest GillArch]

Hi all, I just wondered if my experience is common:

We are going back to the UK for a holiday in a few weeks time - the first time since we moved here 2 years ago. I know life carries on in the UK...but no-one really seems that bothered to arrange to meet-up. I have kept in contact with ppl on facebook & Skype, but ppl seem too busy for even a night out. I have had so much kindness on strangers over here, but friends & family back in the Uk just seem like us coming over will mess up their routine. We fly in two days, without an offer of being picked up at the airport (less than 30miles from our home town) and very few meet ups arranged. Trying to stay positive, but feel a little sad. I wondered if others have had a similar reaction & if so can they shed any light on this disinterest?

Thank you,

Gill

[scooterdan]

We found the same..... most of our so-called mates couldn't be arsed to travel 10 minutes to say hello after we had flown half way round the world....!! After being there a few days everyone is just grumpier and i couldn't wait to get back here.... defo home now!!

 

Dan

[Rachiegarlo]

I think this is common, and people find that there are only a handful of people who actually make any effort when you come back. These are probably the ones who before the internet would have kept up letter writing. Social media makes it too easy to keep up with people without having to put physical effort in. Afterall you see a friend's photos or status changes and can just press "like", no having to get off the sofa or put people up. It may be hard to go back and find this out. Perhaps choose a pub close central to everyone and ring when you get there, stating you will be there from x time to x time, come on down. Therefore they wont have to worry about organisation etc. Do it early on in your holiday and then push off somewhere else and do something for yourselves. Visit places you never went to when you lived there.

[Guest GillArch]

Thanks for your replies...makes a difference. You are right Rachiegarlo...good advice. On the positive side, it may help us settle even more into Adelaide - thanks Dan...good perspective.

[Guest Husky]

We found the opposite. No one bothered to keep in touch when we emigrated..as soon as we landed everyone wanted to meet up....then when we returned back to oz...no bugger bothered to contact us !

Family included!!!!!

Funny old world!!!

[soo_the_panda]

Hi, sorry to hear this! My take on this:

 

1) Most people don't seem that excited until you're actually there - I think perhaps it doesn't feel real. I know I get super excited months ahead once my flight is booked, but most friends don't seem to share this until I'm almost there or even there.

 

2) A few friends have commented 'oh I don't know what to talk about now - your life is so exciting and I'm just doing the same old'. This has either gone two ways - I've either realised these friends aren't ones I'll keep in touch with long term, or I will explain I'm also doing the same as them (work/social life/holidays/gym/cleaning the house) - just in a different place!

 

3) Totally agree on plan to spend time seeing places you didn't see when you lived in the UK and enjoy being a short, cheap flight from some European destinations you either love or have not yet been to

 

4) A big meet up somewhere central is a great way to see lots of people - I usually do a Saturday in a pub from say 2pm - evening and people can call in whenever

 

5) Each time I go back to the UK (I've been in Adelaide 6.5 years and gone back 4 times) I've seen fewer people, but for more times each. The first trip back was a whirlwind of coffees and drinks with what felt like everyone I've ever known. As time has gone on I don't do that, but do the one big meet up and then focus on my closest friends and family and spend more quality time with them

 

6) Whilst it's a sad reality that moving away can make you realise some people aren't worth it, and you will inevitably lose touch with some friends, you will also be pleasantly surprised by others who might not have been super-close, but actually really do make an effort

 

Enjoy your trip back and focus on those who do make an effort! I have had sooo many people do things like call me on my last day and say 'oh let's catch up' and I have to say 'umm... I fly back to Adelaide tomorrow!" Sometimes you need to just take control and say 'Ok, I only have 2 weeks there (especially if you have time doing Europe trips etc) - when can I lock you in for dinner?" most people then answer to me 'oh whenever, I'm just doing normal stuff so call me when you're here' to which I always say 'my trip is really short and I'd hate to miss seeing you - so let's book something in so we have a guaranteed evening'.

[Blossom]

I found the same just moving up north from down south in the uk. So it had kind of prepared me for here. I've been here 6.5 years without a trip back, and no visitors here, although I did meet up with my best mate in Hong Kong. I'm hoping when I finally get to visit for one meet up with friends (group meet up) down south, one up north, family meet up and a trip to see my best mate who is up in Scotland now. If that will happen or not who knows lol.

[Guest GillArch]

Glad to know it isn't just my friends then! Thanks for all the tips soo_the_panda - will digest & take note - some goods ones to help my mood. Time to finish packing, feeling a bit better xxx

[Prema]

Hi Gill, Don't let it bother you. Your going back, do the stuff you want to. Shopping, I'd defo take my kids to alton towers, chessington, lego land, oh and our fav harry potter. You got 2 weeks, do everything that you want to. Enjoy it and make the most of it, its not just a close trip in the car!!!

[Keith & Linda]

Yep pretty much the same as everyone else, except that we have even given up on the 'central meet us', most people don't seem to want to put themselves out but quite happy to say come round and see us whilst your here, and then have a little whine when you don't!, but you must forgive them because if they have to travel more than 5 miles or out of town then they do have a lot to do, like they will have to get the car serviced, arrange a pet sitter, water the garden, empty the bins, have a bath, check the iron is unplugged!

 

We still let people know we are coming and give some dates on where we will be at particular times, contact numbers etc, then we have done our bit it's up to them to do theirs! Do your own thing and enjoy.