cormcvcr

Do You Fart In Bed?

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    DO YOU FART IN BED?

     

    IF THIS STORY DOESN'T MAKE YOU CRY FOR LAUGHING SO HARD, LET ME

    KNOW AND I'LL PRAY FOR YOU.

     

    THIS IS A STORY ABOUT A COUPLE WHO HAD BEEN HAPPILY MARRIED FOR

    YEARS.

     

    THE ONLY FRICTION IN THEIR MARRIAGE WAS THE HUSBAND'S HABIT OF

    FARTING LOUDLY EVERY MORNING WHEN HE AWOKE. THE NOISE WOULD WAKE HIS

    WIFE AND

     

    THE SMELL WOULD MAKE HER EYES WATER AND MAKE HER GASP FOR AIR.

     

    EVERY MORNING SHE WOULD PLEAD WITH HIM TO STOP RIPPING THEM OFF

    BECAUSE IT WAS MAKING HER SICK. HE TOLD HER HE COULDN'T.STOP IT AND THAT

    IT WAS PERFECTLY NATURAL. SHE TOLD HIM TO SEE A DOCTOR, SHE WAS

    CONCERNED THAT ONE DAY HE WOULD BLOW HIS GUTS OUT.

     

    THE YEARS WENT BY AND HE CONTINUED TO RIP THEM OUT. THEN ONE

    THANKSGIVING MORNING AS SHE WAS PREPARING THE TURKEY FOR DINNER AND

    HE WAS UPSTAIRS SOUND ASLEEP, SHE LOOKED AT THE INNARDS AND NECK,

    GIZZARD, LIVER AND ALL THE SPARE PAR TS AND A MALICIOUS THOUGHT CAME TO

    HER.

     

    SHE TOOK THE BOWL AND WENT UPSTAIRS WHERE HER HUSBAND WAS SOUND

    ASLEEP AND, GENTLY PULLING THE BED COVERS BACK, SHE PULLED BACK THE

    ELASTIC WAISTBAND OF HIS UNDERPAN TS AND EMPTIED THE BOWL OF TURKEY GUTS

    INTO HIS SHORTS

     

    SOME TIME LATER SHE HEARD HER HUSBAND WAKEN WITH HIS USUAL

    TRUMPETING WHICH WAS FOLLOWED BY A BLOOD CURDLING SCREAM AND THE SOUND

    OF FRANTIC FOOT STEPS AS HE RAN INTO THE BATH ROOM. THE WIFE COULD

    HARDLY CONTROL HERSELF AS SHE ROLLED ON THE FLOOR LAUGHING, TEARS IN HER

    EYES! AFTER YEARS OF TORTURE SHE RECKONED SHE HAD GOT HIM BACK PRE TT Y

    GOOD..

     

    ABOUT TWENTY MINUTES LATER, HER HUSBAND CAME DOWNSTAIRS IN HIS

    BLOODSTAINED UNDERPANTS WITH A LOOK OF HORROR ON HIS FACE. SHE BIT

    HER LIP AS SHE ASKED HIM WHAT WAS THE MATT ER.

     

    HE SAID, 'HONEY YOU WERE RIGHT.' 'ALL THESE YEARS YOU HAVE WARNED

    ME A ND I DIDN'T LISTEN TO YOU'.

     

    'WHAT DO YOU MEAN?' ASKED HIS WIFE.

     

    'WELL, YOU ALWAYS TOLD ME THAT ONE DAY I WOULD END UP FARTING MY

    GUTS OUT, AND TODAY IT FINALLY HAPPENED.'

     

    BUT BY THE GRACE OF GOD, SOME VASELINE AND TWO FINGERS. I THINK I

    GOT MOST OF THEM BACK IN.'

    :biglaugh::biglaugh::biglaugh::biglaugh:

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    Guest alibongo

    very funny!!

    thanks for the mid week laugh.

     

    Ali

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    my gosh i didnt know what was gonna happen there:wideeyed:

     

    thats a good one

    shall forward that on to me mates:)

     

    thanks sue xxx

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    Guest donna T

    Oh My God!! Couldn't explain to the 3 year old why I was laughing so much :jiggy:

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    Guest Django

    I'm as yet undecided as to whether this is a joke or a page from Cornelia's diary.:wideeyed:

     

    :biglaugh::biglaugh::biglaugh:

     

    Pete

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    I'm as yet undecided as to whether this is a joke or a page from Cornelia's diary.:wideeyed:

     

    :biglaugh::biglaugh:

     

    Pete

     

     

    Oh, I was wondering where my diary had got to, PETE!!!! give it back!!! ;)

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    Guest Rossetti's

    That is so funny thanks for that it gave me a good laugh!!!

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    Guest The Hadleys

    Thats excellent, i'm going to try that on my hubby. Very funny xx

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    Guest cunnah10

    Absolutely fantastic!Had tears rolling down my cheeks and hardly able to breath from laughing so much just a couple of lines into it!

    I was hysterical by the end!

    My 3 year old standing next to the computer asking "what are laughing at mummy!!!"

     

    Thanks cheered me up!

     

    Gill

    x

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    Guest Em76

    Um, yum, was just reading this whilst trying to eat lunch. Luckily I am a veggie

    Very funny tho, bought a smile to my otherwise dull day

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