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Guest happy-jools

A Case of the Wobbles

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    Guest happy-jools

    God knows whats rocked me, but Im wondering whether moving to Auz is the right thing. I have always been the most positive one, but now starting to look at things in a more sentimental light. I.e. When youngest child went to Nursery today two of the kids ran up to her and gave her a hug. Ahhhh. Other things like appreciating the things we take for granted. Im sure this is a case of nerves, hoping other have had similar feelings and can reassure me. Please.:confused::confused::confused:

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    Guest bev_stef

    Hi

     

    Know exactly how you feel, reguarly get the jitters and wonder if we're doing the right thing for the kids. Removing from their nanny, taking from few friends they have made. Andrew has hia first girlfriend at preschool and they are set to start school together in jan.

     

    So yes, the wobbles definately set in from time to time, but then i tend to convince myself again that although it will be tough, worthwhile in the lng run. Hang in there, once you get that stamp i'm sure it will all be okay. I'm sure the waiting is just making the jitters worse.

     

    Take care:)

     

    Bev

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    Guest Aussiebound

    You've probably got those holiday blues - keep smiling - you'll be fine!!!

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    Guest steph&neil

    hi I am sure we all feel a bit (or a lot!) nervous, i don't think it would be natural to feel confident about it every day - i wake up feeling sick at the thought since selling our house!

    but i try to put it into context like this-

    i felt the same the first time i took out a mortgage (12 years ago!)

    I felt the same when i got married (still not sure i did the right thing hahaha!)

    I felt the same when i have my first child (can I really do this?????????)

    all i am getting at is we have all thought & had second thoughts but, just like having kids ; we felt sick, nervous & had many a sleepless nights:confused: & from it we learned to be confident - even when things don't go to plan!

    my advice have a glass of wine (to calm the nervous) & then think of 5 reasons you want to go & 5 things you wont miss.

    I hope this helps you!

    steph;)

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    Guest dglamoore

    It is normal to have doubts and jitters - we did on a regular basis :D

     

    If it makes you feel better we are glad we have made this move and we now feel like we are 'home'

     

    Dawn is thriving here - she has a great Kindy she loves, lovely friends and even goes off to help look after chickens at kindy :D She has a trip in a couple of weeks to an Aboriginal centre which she is looking forward too a lot. Although is it cool here at the mo and raining on and off she has been outdoors playing more here than she did in the summer in the uk. Older kids are more tolerant here of little ones too and will happily play along with them :o

     

    For us - people are so friendly here. We have met some fantastic people both from uk and Aussies that have made us feel welcome and settled. There is so much to see and do and there are some really beautiful areas to go and see. The sky really is huge and even on a cloudy day you will see some blue sky and a bit of sun at some point.

     

    For families there is lots to do and this weekend we are off to a wine festival at mclaren vale which has entertainment laid on for families and lots of nice food and wine.

     

    It is so hard when you are in the uk looking forward to the huge step you are going to take but once you have taken it and get to this side it is worth while. We find even keeping in touch with those in the uk is easy with msn and phone cards you can pick up. We have just paid $30 for 5500 mins of calls to the uk which is much cheaper than it used to cost us to call people from the uk!!!!!

     

    Lisa:cool:

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    Guest Guest75

    Basically it is part of the normal process, I'd worry if you did not get the jitters.

     

    We look at things here now in a different light.

    Our values have changed .

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    Guest happy-jools

    Thanks for everyones response. Pleased to say its not just me then who has these nerves. This morning things looking a little brighter. Well almost (it is 6.20am and Im on here thanks to early wake up call from Daughter).

    ;)

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    Guest Twirly

    Hi

     

    I am also the positive one! We have only five weeks to go and I can't really believe it is happening. I woke up last week with butterflies - thinking can we really do this??? But it has passed.

     

    Tyke is quite right - it is normal to have these feeling and it's your internal sense check!

     

    I just keep imaging everyday how great it's going to be when we get there.

     

    I know I will have to make an extra special effort to keep in touch and keep people connected with our lives but I can't wait for the adventure to really begin.

     

    I think this forum is a great way to feel connected and to prepare for what's coming up!

     

    My job in the UK is to help people through all sorts of change. One great tool I have found helpful is to imagine what it's going to be like? What will you hear, see, feel and think? Where will you be and what will you be thinking? Who will be with you?

     

    Another useful thing to do is to ask yourself what is the benefit of having the wobbles? What am I trying to tell myself?

     

    I attach below a great tool which will help you sense check your plans and also to consider what some of the losses might be? You then think about how you can incorporate those losses into the change you are trying to make. This is a lovely exercise to do with a friend or partner and a glass of wine!

     

    Hope this helps

     

    Twirly!

     

    Well Formed Outcomes

    The Well Formed Outcome helps you to explore a change or a decision you want to make.

     

    What is your goal? What do really want? What would happen if you didn’t achieve your goal? What would happen if you did?

     

    Make a mental picture of your goal. What does it Iook like, sound like, feel like? What would you be doing? How will you know when you have achieved it?[/font]

     

    You’re on the starting grid. What do you need to do to make this happen? What’s the first action? How do you keep motoring?[/font]

     

    How does this fit in with what everyone around you wants? How can you collaborate with others? Who else needs to know and be involved?

     

    In what context? When do you want it to happen? When don’t you want it to happen? Where and with whom?

     

    What are the positive by products? What would you lose if you achieve your goal? How can you build these losses into your goal? If you stay as you are, how would you benefit?

     

    What resources do you need? Money, time, emotional, intellectual .Is the goal ecological?

     

    Is it worth it? What are the consequences of achieving it? What’s the effect on others?

     

    What could be the first step? What is the first step? When will you take it?

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    Guest Django

    Glad you've stopped wobbling Jools. I guess everyone goes through the ' am I doing the right thing? ' thing. Deep down you know you are.;)

     

    Pete

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    Guest graandjac

    :eek: Oh Jools.....I'm so glad you started that thread! We are nowhere near going to Oz (early 2008) but I find myself looking at what we've got - and it's actually not that bad!! The fact is, we can't go on like this forever as a family. Every year we will be borrowing more money to exist where we are :(.

     

    Don't know about you, but I am looking at everything negatively here to help me sway, but in reality I couldn't be happier at the mo! We just can't afford the future here and the kids need more (other than an ASBO) to look forward to (sorry muppetbro).

     

    You've always been so up-beat on this forum and you make my hubby laugh - can't wait to meet you! To cut a long story short, I feel EXACTLY the same as you. I've been told to remember why we started this process in the first place - if everything was ok here, you wouldn't be doing this.....now you're getting somewhere and actually doing something about it - you should be proud as a family that you're doing this, you never know until you've tried! We will regret not doing this for US more. Jac x

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    Guest muppetbro

    i have strong views on this.....

     

    forums are saturated with dreaming and irrational behaviour - anyone who dares challenge that gets shot down on forums ive seen...........problem with this small forum is its all nice n friendly around the fireplace - reality checjs sometimes needed......

     

    i wonder how many of the high posters who dont last down under have the courage to post their after thoughts........the courage to say they hadt prepared - 50% return within 3 years statistic is it ???

     

    how irrational is it to go to the other side of the world having never visited a place - some buy a house before arrival......i cud go on but i fear it bursts the bubbles of the romantics out there........

     

    well weve sold our mansion given up cracking salaries and am counting down til mid august - funny thing is i feel quite neutral - maybe cos i know whats to come - away from the beach its going to be hard work alot of networking begging and pleading and alot of stress until we get salaries coming in - then only then we may purchase and commit and give it 3/4 years and ask ourselves have we improved the quality of life for all the family - weve given up alot in the uk and many have told us how brave we are to have done that

     

    yep im a romantic fool but images on tv and forum mentality account for little of our background research and visits to the land down under - but hell i want my kids riding in clean surf and snapper point sure sounds cool ;)

     

    be realistic and leave the materialistic british mentality in the uk - thats about my only dislike with the uk

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    Guest Django

    Interesting post muppetbro.

     

    If you have a mansion and high salaries why are you going? As you say its a gamble. If you go and its not for you then how long will it take you to recoup your life as it is at the mo? What has made you decide to go? Nosey ain't I?:D

     

    We are going coz we are struggling to make ends meet here. Over there we will have a similar income but a cheaper way of life. So should have more spare cash to give our children a better start in life than we could ever dream of over here. When Jack reaches adulthood, how will he be able to buy his own place in this country?

     

    Yes there will be downsides to living over there of course there will. But, pros (in my opinion) way out number the cons.

    If it doesn't work for us out I will be the first to post on here what went wrong and why we came back (not that we will;))

     

    Pete

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    Hmm, this is getting deep. We're flying out 26th July and we get married next Saturday so that all our friends and family can be around us to celebrate and to say goodbye. The pressure from our families is already pretty intense, my mum cried her heart out when I told her we'd booked the flights. I know that our families are devastated that we're leaving and if I'm honest there are times when we wonder if we're doing the right thing, taking our children away from their cousins, grandparents and friends. But I know that we'll make friends out there and I know the children will be fine. I'm hoping that we'll be able to meet people from this forum who are already out there so that we can start socialising straight away and likewise, when other people move out after us we will try to welcome them to Adelaide. All I'm saying is, it's natural to get the jitters, there's one hell of a ride in front of us!

     

    Liz and Rich

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    Guest graandjac

    Agree Pete,i think if you have loads of money then the uk is great but for the middle to lower class peeps it sucks, i work my socks off, have my own business, live in a great part of the uk, love my house, but this place (uk) is getting worse and i hate to think what it will be like for the kids, we are keeping the game plan to a minimum so to have no dissapiontment and giving ourselves a minimum of two years to make things work we all have to be realistic. Cheers Graham

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    Guest dglamoore
    i have strong views on this.....

     

    forums are saturated with dreaming and irrational behaviour - anyone who dares challenge that gets shot down on forums ive seen...........problem with this small forum is its all nice n friendly around the fireplace - reality checjs sometimes needed......

     

    i wonder how many of the high posters who dont last down under have the courage to post their after thoughts........the courage to say they hadt prepared - 50% return within 3 years statistic is it ???

     

    how irrational is it to go to the other side of the world having never visited a place - some buy a house before arrival......i cud go on but i fear it bursts the bubbles of the romantics out there........

     

    well weve sold our mansion given up cracking salaries and am counting down til mid august - funny thing is i feel quite neutral - maybe cos i know whats to come - away from the beach its going to be hard work alot of networking begging and pleading and alot of stress until we get salaries coming in - then only then we may purchase and commit and give it 3/4 years and ask ourselves have we improved the quality of life for all the family - weve given up alot in the uk and many have told us how brave we are to have done that

     

    yep im a romantic fool but images on tv and forum mentality account for little of our background research and visits to the land down under - but hell i want my kids riding in clean surf and snapper point sure sounds cool

     

    be realistic and leave the materialistic british mentality in the uk - thats about my only dislike with the uk

     

     

    Good post - it is always good to read all views. We are lucky in that we have settled here so fast but I believe that is because we did a lot of research and like you say it is a nice place to live with lots of perks but you still have to work hard and the bills still come through the door.

     

    Life here is more chilled and people really do not care what you have or what you look like - unless you meet an ex-pat that brings that mentality with them and unfortunately there are a few :confused:

     

    We are renting and quite happy to stay put while we set up businesses here and see how the money fares before commiting to a mortgage (we had no mansions in uk ;)) but must admit we do get some odd looks from brits thinking they MUST buy straight away and live the dream - we are just happy to be here and work towards the dream.

     

    As for the surf we live in a good surfing area and it is great to see kids bounce out of bed at 7am on a Sunday to shoot across the road like a pack of seals to dive into the waves instead of moping out to the lounge to turn tv and playstation on :D

     

    Lisa:cool:

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    Guest Twirly

    I just want to say thanks to everyone who has contributed to this thread. I think this forum is fantastic in the way that people share their help and support.

     

    I know that we probably would have a had a lot more wobbles if we hadn't found this site. It has helped us in many ways and we probably haven't contributed as much as we have gained.

     

    I know I will continue to use it over the coming weeks and after we get to OZ. I really hope that when we get to Adelaide we can meet up in person.

     

    Twirly

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    Guest muppetbro

    folks

     

    mansion to me is a house you live in with happiness and good health as a strong family unit - we are two teachers so combined imho we had a great salary to afford comfort living in the nw - house prices near blackpool dont reflect london prices so my true wealth is my good health :D

     

    we have enough funds to purchase modest 3 bedroom house mortgage free - what im trying to relay is oz isnt often the materialistic improvement people think it offers given earning power isnt as strong.........

     

    some good points and rightly so many pomms are disliked because their materialistic and arrogant traits - the reasons why brits globally are not so pupular!!! -

     

    lisa great to hear but - please these are points for discusiion and i would say them to your face over a devon cream tea - you are still in holiday frame of mind - give it time as you have imho rightly done re the house purchase

     

    how i wonder do people live after a month or two when they realise there living in the wrong street the wrong town or even the wrong country as they havent really dont the logical thing

     

    i agree pete with many of the issues re housing market for young - one factor were thinking is a big plus for our kids

     

    p.s. head south to see proper oz surf - that aint good oz surf lisa cos the penninsular and roo island blocks out the ground swell - go to middleton see the whales and look to your left and you will see true miles of oz surf

     

    i do resist many postings but its not so bad on occassion to throw in a few warts

    i know in pm conversations peoples experience are vaery accurately reflected and as is rightly mentioned - its one hell of an emotional roller coaster

     

    live that dream - but please plan and prepare and consider ALL factors

     

    stay safe mart

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    Guest dglamoore

     

    lisa great to hear but - please these are points for discusiion and i would say them to your face over a devon cream tea - you are still in holiday frame of mind - give it time as you have imho rightly done re the house purchase

     

    how i wonder do people live after a month or two when they realise there living in the wrong street the wrong town or even the wrong country as they havent really dont the logical thing

     

    p.s. head south to see proper oz surf - that aint good oz surf lisa cos the penninsular and roo island blocks out the ground swell - go to middleton see the whales and look to your left and you will see true miles of oz surf

     

    live that dream - but please plan and prepare and consider ALL factors

     

    stay safe mart

     

    I know how much you love controversy - wish I was in holiday mode but no time for that with two new businesses to set up! Can honestly say we have only done 1 'touristy' thing since arriving and that was a trip to victor harbor for the day :)

     

    It is nice to have a view point but never assume about others lives and what they do from day to day :confused:

     

    I was not regaling tales of wonderful surf here - just stating how nice it is to see what aussie kids get up too - am sure where the 'real' surf is they enjoy it even more :o

     

    We have a dream but definitely consider myself well researched as I try and help others to do with Adelaide Bound but also came over with eyes WIDE open which is a must!

     

    Lisa:cool:

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    Guest happy-jools

    Thank you for everyones replies. Some controversy going on - but hey everyones opinions were asked for. And by God I got them.

     

    Still having a case of the wobbles unfortunately. And my Dear Husband is feeling a little like this, so its bad timing, as we cant convince the other that its the right thing. Only time will tell.

     

    Im afraid I cant really do that much research, as you only know a place once your there. And going on a rekkie, well Im not sure whether that will solve it, as we will be in Holiday mode.

     

    Jobs is one of the issues, and whether we would get fixed up. Steve especially as he hasnt got a trade, and Metal Polishing. Well how many of them are needed.

     

    Also childminding. Were lucky that we have great parents here, who help out all the time. Over there, Molly will only be in Kindy and we will have to use a childminder. Firstly they cost, and secondly would we trust. I would happily stay at home, but financially ??? who knows.

     

    Well Ive said enough. Will watch with interest.xx:eek:

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    Guest sallyclaire

    I know exactly how you feel! We (me mostly!) are dithering about where to choose to live ie Adelaide, Perth, QLD. We also are not in a position to do a reccie visit and the more I research, the more undecided I become. All I know for certain at the moment is that I am prepared for the ups & downs of immigration (we lived abroad before), want a better quality family life and better, safer future for my boys. Fortunately I am a nurse so work for me will not be an issue wherever we decide but my OH is a retail manager & not having much look finding info on his prospects anywhere!

    My only advice is to think long & hard about what you will be gaining v what you will be giving up.

    Best of luck!

    Sally

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    Guest Django

    Welcome to the forum Sally. :D

     

    Jools,

    If you manage to make it down in August we can discuss this at length. My view is we are all in the same boat so to speak so it would be advantageous (big word for me:D) for us all to help each other out. Child care should not be a problem if we all muck in. Also I'm not going out with a trade so to speak as I would have to re qualify if I wanted to continue doing what I do. I'm gonna use this migration as a total new way of life. I have a few ideas regarding an income. Tracey, being the one with the wanted skill, will provide the main income to begin with though.

    As others have said, with a bit of hard work and help from each other there is no reason why we can't all make a good go of it.

     

    Pete

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    Guest sarah

    We came here with bearly a sausage, I had only had brain surgery 7 months prev. I think you know when somethng is right & Like the big tick you just do it.. Go with your heart....& your mind will follow:)We only have one chance @ this life & its not gona last too long...we gave heaps of stuff away, its only material. Our daughter, from the day we landed (shes 2 1/2 ) when asked if she wanted to go back to see nanny & grandad? NO was always the answer... wanna go back to england? NO is the reply, even if the adults are feeling that they want to...NO...Aus>>tra...lia!!!!!!

     

    Still having a case of the wobbles unfortunately. And my Dear Husband is feeling a little like this, so its bad timing, as we cant convince the other that its the right thing. Only time will tell.

     

    Im afraid I cant really do that much research, as you only know a place once your there. And going on a rekkie, well Im not sure whether that will solve it, as we will be in Holiday mode.

     

    Jobs is one of the issues, and whether we would get fixed up. Steve especially as he hasnt got a trade, and Metal Polishing. Well how many of them are needed.

     

    Also childminding. Were lucky that we have great parents here, who help out all the time. Over there, Molly will only be in Kindy and we will have to use a childminder. Firstly they cost, and secondly would we trust. I would happily stay at home, but financially ??? who knows.

     

    Well Ive said enough. Will watch with interest.xx:eek:

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    Guest dglamoore

    Jobs is one of the issues, and whether we would get fixed up. Steve especially as he hasnt got a trade, and Metal Polishing. Well how many of them are needed.

     

     

    Greg is also a Metal Polisher and we have secured a unit and just in the process of getting ready to open as his machines get delivered this week. While we have been researching it a bit over here there is demand for the trade - one company has even just expanded its metal polishing side of things but we have not been looking for vacancies so cannot reply on that one.

     

    Watch this space and we can let you know how work goes :)

     

    Lisa:cool:

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    Guest Aussiebound

    Don't worry - when you are over there and making all your new friends and the children are settled you'll be fine.

     

    Better to regret doing something than regret not doing it!!

     

    Chat later on MSN

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    Guest graandjac

    With regards to our "cosy little website", great is'nt it..:) we all have concerns some big some small ,some have more money than others, but one thing in common, so when we go to the other side of the world, without knowing anybody for most of us, we pull together and help each other out. Some of us might become new life long friends some we might never want to see again, but for now we are happy to take all advice and support from our new buddies we can get so thanks to PIA however cosy and small we might be:p and lisa any surf sounds good to me and if it is full of kids what a wondefull sight happy kids playing in the sea . Cheers Gra and Jac

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