Sign in to follow this  
Guest guest569

Summer thoughts !!!!

    Recommended Posts

    Guest guest569

    Diary of an Alice Springs Summer (by a Pom)

     

     

    August 31st

     

    Just got transferred with work into our new home in Alice Springs!! Now

    this is a city that knows how to live!! Beautiful sunny days and warm balmy

    evenings. What a place! I watched the sunset from a deck chair on the

    verandah It was beautiful. I've finally found my home. I love it here.

     

    September 13th:

     

    Really heating up. Got to 35 today. Not a problem. Live in an

    air-conditioned home, drive an air-conditioned car. What a pleasure to see

    the sun everyday like this. I'm turning into a sun worshiper.

     

    September 30th:

     

    Had the backyard landscaped with tropical plants today. Lots of palms and

    rocks. What a breeze to maintain. No more mowing lawn for me. Another

    scorcher today, but I love it here.

     

    October 10th

     

    The temperature hasn't been below 35 all week. How do people get used to

    this kind of heat? At least today it's kind of windy though. But getting

    used to the heat is taking longer than I expected.

     

    October 15th:

     

    Fell asleep by the pool. Got 3rd degree burns over 60% of my body. Missed

    3 days of work. What a dumb thing to do. I learned my lesson though. Got to

    respect the ol' sun in a climate like this.

     

    October 20th:

     

    I missed Kitty (our cat) sneaking into the car when I left this morning.

    By the time I got to the hot car for lunch, Kitty had died and swollen up to

    the size of a shopping bag and stank up the $3,000 leather upholstery. I

    told the kids that she ran away. The car now smells like Wiskettes and cat

    s***. I learned my lesson though. No more pets in this heat.

     

    October 25th:

     

    The wind sucks. It feels like a giant F***in blow dryer!! And it's hot as

    hell. The home air-conditioner is on the blink and the AC repairman charged

    $200 just to drive over and tell me he needed to order parts.

     

    October 30th:

     

    Been sleeping outside by the pool for 3 nights now. Bloody $300,000 house

    and we can't even go inside. Why did I ever come here?

     

    November 4th:

     

    It's 38 degrees. Finally got the ol' air-conditioner fixed today. It cost

    $500 and gets the temperature down to 25, but the bloody humidity makes the

    house feel like it's about 30. Stupid repairman. I hate this stupid F***in

    place.

     

    November 8th:

     

    If another wise arse cracks, "Hot enough for you today?" I'm going to

    F***in throttle him. F***in heat! By the time I get to work the car's

    radiator was boiling over, my clothes are soakin F***in wet, and I smell

    like baked cat!!

     

    November 9th:

     

    Tried to run some messages after work. Wore shorts, and sat on the black

    leather seats in the ol' car. I thought my F***in arse was on fire. I

    lost

    2 layers of flesh and all the hair on the back of my legs and my F***in

    arse. Now my car smells like burnt hair, fried arse, and baked cat.

     

    November 10th:

     

    The weather report might as well be a F***in recording. Hot and sunny. Hot

    and sunny. Hot and F***in sunny. It's been too hot to do anything for 2

    damn months and the weatherman says it might really warm up next week.

    Doesn't it ever rain in this damn F***in place? Water rationing will be

    next, so my $2,000 worth of palms just might dry up and blow into the

    F***in

    pool. Even the palms can't live in this F***in heat.

     

    November 14th:

     

    Welcome to HELL!!! Temperature got to 41 today. Now the air-conditioner's

    gone in my car. The repairman came to fix it and said, "Hot enough for you

    today?" My wife had to spend the $2,500 mortgage payment to bail my arse

    out of jail for assulting the stupid f*****. F*** Alice Springs! What

    kind

    of a sick demented F***in idiot would want to live here?

     

    December 1st:

     

    WHAT????? This is the first day of Summer???? You are F***in kiddin

     

     

    --------------------:biglaugh:

    Share this post


    Link to post
    Share on other sites
    Guest paddyhaha
    Diary of an Alice Springs Summer (by a Pom)

     

     

    August 31st

     

    Just got transferred with work into our new home in Alice Springs!! Now

    this is a city that knows how to live!! Beautiful sunny days and warm balmy

    evenings. What a place! I watched the sunset from a deck chair on the

    verandah It was beautiful. I've finally found my home. I love it here.

     

    September 13th:

     

    Really heating up. Got to 35 today. Not a problem. Live in an

    air-conditioned home, drive an air-conditioned car. What a pleasure to see

    the sun everyday like this. I'm turning into a sun worshiper.

     

    September 30th:

     

    Had the backyard landscaped with tropical plants today. Lots of palms and

    rocks. What a breeze to maintain. No more mowing lawn for me. Another

    scorcher today, but I love it here.

     

    October 10th

     

    The temperature hasn't been below 35 all week. How do people get used to

    this kind of heat? At least today it's kind of windy though. But getting

    used to the heat is taking longer than I expected.

     

    October 15th:

     

    Fell asleep by the pool. Got 3rd degree burns over 60% of my body. Missed

    3 days of work. What a dumb thing to do. I learned my lesson though. Got to

    respect the ol' sun in a climate like this.

     

    October 20th:

     

    I missed Kitty (our cat) sneaking into the car when I left this morning.

    By the time I got to the hot car for lunch, Kitty had died and swollen up to

    the size of a shopping bag and stank up the $3,000 leather upholstery. I

    told the kids that she ran away. The car now smells like Wiskettes and cat

    s***. I learned my lesson though. No more pets in this heat.

     

    October 25th:

     

    The wind sucks. It feels like a giant F***in blow dryer!! And it's hot as

    hell. The home air-conditioner is on the blink and the AC repairman charged

    $200 just to drive over and tell me he needed to order parts.

     

    October 30th:

     

    Been sleeping outside by the pool for 3 nights now. Bloody $300,000 house

    and we can't even go inside. Why did I ever come here?

     

    November 4th:

     

    It's 38 degrees. Finally got the ol' air-conditioner fixed today. It cost

    $500 and gets the temperature down to 25, but the bloody humidity makes the

    house feel like it's about 30. Stupid repairman. I hate this stupid F***in

    place.

     

    November 8th:

     

    If another wise arse cracks, "Hot enough for you today?" I'm going to

    F***in throttle him. F***in heat! By the time I get to work the car's

    radiator was boiling over, my clothes are soakin F***in wet, and I smell

    like baked cat!!

     

    November 9th:

     

    Tried to run some messages after work. Wore shorts, and sat on the black

    leather seats in the ol' car. I thought my F***in arse was on fire. I

    lost

    2 layers of flesh and all the hair on the back of my legs and my F***in

    arse. Now my car smells like burnt hair, fried arse, and baked cat.

     

    November 10th:

     

    The weather report might as well be a F***in recording. Hot and sunny. Hot

    and sunny. Hot and F***in sunny. It's been too hot to do anything for 2

    damn months and the weatherman says it might really warm up next week.

    Doesn't it ever rain in this damn F***in place? Water rationing will be

    next, so my $2,000 worth of palms just might dry up and blow into the

    F***in

    pool. Even the palms can't live in this F***in heat.

     

    November 14th:

     

    Welcome to HELL!!! Temperature got to 41 today. Now the air-conditioner's

    gone in my car. The repairman came to fix it and said, "Hot enough for you

    today?" My wife had to spend the $2,500 mortgage payment to bail my arse

    out of jail for assulting the stupid f*****. F*** Alice Springs! What

    kind

    of a sick demented F***in idiot would want to live here?

     

    December 1st:

     

    WHAT????? This is the first day of Summer???? You are F***in kiddin

     

     

    --------------------:biglaugh:

    :biglaugh::biglaugh::biglaugh:

    vey funny

    Share this post


    Link to post
    Share on other sites

    Create an account or sign in to comment

    You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

    Create an account

    Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

    Register a new account

    Sign in

    Already have an account? Sign in here.

    Sign In Now

    Sign in to follow this