Feeling pretty pants right now....

[Guest Lisado]

Could have used a stronger word but thought best not

 

I know this sounds silly but I have just had a text from my ex-mother in law (she is in Birmingham and we in newcastle) and she has told me her dog has just died this morning. Now I have to break the news to my son who adores Gina (its his nana's dog) and he is going to be devastated. My ex-father in law died 3 days before xmas (alex's grandad) and his nana has said she has ever felt so alone for the first time ever. Of course we taking her beloved grandson thousands of miles away and I feel likeS**t. In fact I am at work on here and trying not to cry.

 

I am really fond of her and we get on really well, depsite me divorcing her son! I am happily re-married with my 2 kids and thought this was the best move but I sort of forgot how it would effect her.

 

I am rambling I know but if it stops me from bubbling over a dog at work - then I'll have to ramble on!

 

Also had to reduce the house by another £5k. My folks are giving me the guilt trip and today I have lost all enthusiasm for oz

 

Sorry to moan, Lisa

[Guest Libby1971]

Oh babe, I do feel for you.

 

This is the hardest time now, as people have been hoping you'll change your mind. As you get closer to the date of departure, you may find it harder but trust me, it is worth it. I haven't always found Oz the idyllic paradise that others describe but we have a lifestyle here that I could never have dramed of in the UK. And you'll have something special here too.

 

But your immediate concern is your son and his grandmother. Could she come to visit you in Oz? Is she well enough? Are you close enough? It might help her.

 

Admit defeat and have a good cry. Go to the loos, cry, and wash your face. You have had a shock and need to let it out, trying to put a brave face on it is too hard in a public place.

 

Sending massive hugs to you xx

[Guest Lisado]

HI

 

I actually feel like I am going to be sick. Alex will be devastated. He adores animals - he is one of the reasons we moving to Oz as he wants to step into Steve Irwins footsteps!! He goes to Brum to stay with his nana as much as he can (his dad never bothers!) and he was there when his grandad died suddenly in the house and he didnt want to come home as he wanted to help his nana (hes only 8!). Last week he said he didnt want to move which completelty threw us as he is depserate to come over.

 

I have always said that she can come and stay with us whenever she wants. Thats she can call / email, etc. SHe is fit and well.

 

I am just dreading breaking the news to me wee man

 

I'll stamp some books in the meantime - to take my mind of it !!!

[Guest Libby1971]

Stamp very hard, drop a few and woe betide anyone who comes in with an overdue book!!!!

 

I am thinking of you. I can't even begin to imagine how you are feeling. My youngest was about the same age as your son when in the space of 6 months, she lost her grandad, lost a relationship with her grandmother, and then one of her pets died. She said after we buried the pet that this had been the most horrible year ever and she would be glad when it was over. I cried for what seemed like for ever at her distress and she ended up giving me the hugs!!

 

Can your husband give you any support and tell him instead? Or could your ex MIL tell him?

[Guest Lisado]

I might just up the fines for the hell of it - they're solicitors so can afford them eh

 

Yeps I think hubby might have to tell him. My ex MIL said in text she just cant speak to anyone right now

 

Everything does seem to happen in 3s eh!

 

Lisa

[Guest Libby1971]

I am pleased you don't have to worry about how to tell your son.

 

LOL at the solicitors' fines...they can pay for the takeaway tonight!!

 

((((((((((((((((((((LISADO))))))))))))))))))))) for you and your family, take care

[Guest Lisajonesey]

Lisa

What a sad story, god, I really feel for you! - I can see why your ex mother in law is lonely, but you really do have to think about what is best for YOU AND YOUR family now. I guess this is easy for me to say when I'm not in that situation, but you need to think of all the reasons you wanted to move abroad.. write them down and see if they still apply.

If your ex mother in law truley loves you, she will understand.. and you can still keep in touch, all the time, just not in person.

She can get another dog to dote on, once she is over the death of Gina... poor thing.

Make your list and for once, think about you and what is best for your family.

I'll be thinking of you all.

Lisa.

[Guest brandyslad]

Everything happens at once doesn't it, with the whole Aus thing you get caught in a bubble and kind of forget about people around you and then next thing something happens to toe you back into reality. Will be thinking of you this evening, hope your wee man takes it ok.

 

And don't feel that you are the only person who would cry over a dog, I am not ashamed to say i have done it in the past. And when kids are involved it is doubly bad.

[Guest Lisado]

Well I have told him and he is devastated. He has gone very quiet (not like him at all)

 

He is doing book character day tomorrow and going as Merlin - so taken his mind of it a bit. His nana is gutted we are moving as are my folks and husbands mother but I have to think of us - as already suggested

 

Thanks for your kind words

 

In my trauma - decided to highlight my hair and I now look like the blonde/blue woman from X-Men!! (Hubby bless him - said I look like Blondie:biglaugh:) - Mind you - he just said my hair goes with the walls!!!!

 

life eh!

[Guest brandyslad]

Blondes have more fun

 

I hope being Merlin takes his mind of it.

[Denise]

Libby said it all, lovely posts to cheer you up but I'm sending you a hug too.

 

Denise

[cormcvcr]

So sorry to hear everything that you are going through at the moment.

 

It is a hard enough decision to make as it is without extras being thrown in. Just remember the reason why you decided to take the plunge in the first place and if you still feel strongly about those reasons then it is still the best choice for you and your family.

 

Chin up and here's a big hug xox

[Guest sue&dave]

Lets hope there aren't any more traumas for you, I don't expect your hair could deal with it!!!!

 

Hope Alex is feeling ok,

 

How are your police checks getting on? and your house sale?

[Guest Martin and Val]

Lisa,

We are very sorry to read your sad news today. As you probably know from past posts of ours, we lost one of our precious dogs in quarantine so we know exactly what it must feel like to your ex-Mother in Law and Alex.

We had to ring one of our boys after we arrived in Australia to tell him the sad news and that wasn’t easy. Now that you have told Alex you have got it off your chest and can move on. He won’t ever forget but it will become easier.

It may feel like you are abandoning some close people with your move to Australia but they can always visit and then they will truly understand why you have made the decision to make a better life for you and your family. And although it’s hard it really is a better life as far as we are concerned.

Don’t lose your enthusiasm, keep on planning the move and involve the kids as much as practically possible. Maybe you could buy them a pet once you are settled!

Good luck

Martin and Val

[Guest Lisado]

Hi sue & dave

 

Still no joy with the house and waiting for those SA police checks - fingers crossed. They come soon

 

Thanks to you all for your kind words and advice - always spot on

 

Lisa