How to improve your CV ..Not!

[Guest Guest75]

Do not make same mistakes with your CV.

 

 

CV Quotes

 

 

These are taken from real CVs and cover letters and were printed in

the July 21,1997 issue of Fortune Magazine

1. "I demand a salary commiserate with my extensive experience."

2. "I have lurnt Word Perfect 6.0 computor and spreasheet progroms."

3. "Received a plague for Salesperson of the Year."

4. "Wholly responsible for two (2) failed financial institutions."

5. "Reason for leaving last job: maturity leave."

6. "Failed bar exam with relatively high grades."

7. "It's best for employers that I not work with people."

8. "Let's meet, so you can 'ooh' and 'aah' over my experience."

9. "You will want me to be Head Honcho in no time."

10. "Am a perfectionist and rarely if if ever forget details."

11. "I was working for my mom until she decided to move."

12. "Marital status: single. Unmarried. Unengaged. Uninvolved. No

commitments."

13. "I have an excellent track record, although I am not a horse."

14. "I am loyal to my employer at all costs...Please feel free to

respond to my resume on my office voice mail."

15. "I have become completely paranoid, trusting completely no one and

absolutely nothing."

16. "My goal is to be a meterologist. But since I possess no training

in meteorology, I suppose I should try stock brokerage."

17. "I procrastinate, especially when the task is unpleasant."

18. "Personal interests: donating blood. Fourteen gallons so far."

19. "As indicted, I have over five years of analyzing investments."

20. "Instrumental in ruining entire operation for a Midwest chain

store."

21. "Note: Please don't misconstrue my 14 jobs as 'job-hopping'. I

have never quit a job."

22. "Marital status: often. Children: various."

23. "Reason for leaving last job: They insisted that all employees get

to work by 8:45 am every morning. I couldn't work under those

conditions."

24. "The company made me a scapegoat, just like my three previous

employers."

25. "Finished eighth in my class of ten."

26. "References: none. I've left a path of destruction behind me."

[Guest KP Nuts]

LOL, no wonder I haven't got a job yet.......

[Guest BAZnDAF]

Thats funny...

[Guest back clan]

Excellent!!!!

Am just about to write mine out.

[Moosh]

You will be surprised at what people put in their CV's. One that I've seen recently was giving it all the god spewl. WTF!

[Guest katsmajic]

haha

 

Ive just seen one where the applicant said "he was very useful with dangerous tools"

and although had never worked in hospitality he was "sure he'd make a good chef if given the chance"

 

run away....................................

[Guest Guest75]

haha

 

Ive just seen one where the applicant said "he was very useful with dangerous tools"

and although had never worked in hospitality he was "sure he'd make a good chef if given the chance"

 

run away....................................

:biglaugh:

 

Did they have thumbs????