advice appreciated

[Guest hopefulnurse]

Hello guys,

 

Just want to get a few things off my chest. We have appointed an agent and things were on track, we had had all our forms verified by a solicitor and were hoping to apply for our visa some point this year, but in the past 4 months my wife has decided that a move for her would not be right!!!!!!

She is using the ecuse that a move would not be fair on her dad, we have theree young lads, and the way this city and country are going it would now be an ideal time for us to go.

I am after advice on how best to work through this, has anybody else been in the same situation, if so how did you overcome it (if you did), we are both 40 and a delay may cost us further valuable points.

The lads are still wanting to go but can see that to talk about it in front of mum is upsetting her.

 

 

Any advice would be great.

 

 

Cheers

 

Jim

[sue2oz]

hi jim we are from liverpool also and i do understand how you feel it is getting worser by the day:sad:

we have 4 boys and the best thing we can do is make the move for them.

dont know what i can say to change your wifes mind by i would like to say good luck with whatever you do ok

 

suexxx

[Guest Trakki]

I am sorry your wife is feeling this way. what has made her change her mind? Ia it that she will be leaving her dad on his own? What does he think of it. We have just moved over and it did mean me leaving mum on her own as my dad died 3 years ago. My brother is still there. Luckily we sat down and talked to mum and she gave us our full blessing. I think this is probably the key, if her dad supports you and gives hisblessing she will feel happier.

 

Sorry I can't help more but I hope you all decide to do what is best for you as a family. I think the worse thing to do would be to talk your wife into it when she doesn't really want to as she would then probwbly not settle here.

 

Take care and keep us informed

 

all the best

[Guest moonraker1959]

Its a big move is'nt it,and sometimes 2 people can feel differently about it.Did you both want this move equally to begin with?The reason I ask is because I have read a few other posts where one partner will move to Oz just to keep the peace,and in the end it does'nt work out.If both of you did want the move,then I would just give your wife some space.She is probably just trying to get her head around everything,its not easy leaving family ect and she,like everyone else would be having those niggling doubts.I would offer her support,tell her you'll be there for her,gently remind her why you both wanted the move to begin with and go from there.Its probably hit her for six now you have both started the process but I think its pretty normal to have doubts and what not.Go easy and she'll come round I'm sure but I also think its best not to "overtalk" it if that makes sense because it would probably make her dig her heels in further.Good luck I'm sure it'll all work out for you in the end xx

[Guest Roo1]

We on PIA obviously don't know all the ins and outs but look, all i can say, is that I went through exactly the same thing as your wife (by the sounds of it). To me she sounds like she is scared. She is making "excuses" because she doesn't know how life will be here in Aus. She's not in control and it frightens her.

 

Maybe come for a reccie and let her see Australia is not a different planet, only a day away by plane.

 

Now I'm here i feel so different to how I felt in the Uk.

 

This is only from my experience, so please take it as that.

 

Judi xxx

[Guest hopefulnurse]

sue Tracey Moonraker n Judi

 

thanks so much for gettiing back to me, you are all right, i know that its time for me to stand back and let her make her own mind up but it aint easy. i work in the community in north liverpool and the patients i go and see are all seeing the way this city is going and are spurring us on, Judi you are right i think a reccie is in order to alay any fears that she has, i do think that her dad is an ecuse, but will have to ride it out. He does believe that it is in the best interest of his grankids, so.....................

Give it time.

 

Cheers

 

Jim