Thanks for your replies. We are not sure of the situation with the employer at the moment. My OH is going to talk to his friend who is already out there and find out more about the situation as they were the same company that brought him over from the UK so he will be able to tell us what was paid for i.e visa, accomodation, flights etc. That way we will know where we stand financially. If all of this is covered by the employer then that will free up any money we have to bring over with us for rental bonds etc.
In regards to the situation with his son. As an outsider who met them both 4 years ago and has watched the relationship between them go from bad to worse I don't know if this could actually help. Maybe instead of him being forced to come to ours every weekend by his mum, coming out to see us on holiday a couple of times a year may make him happier. We have already discussed with our parents that they would be happy to bring him over with them when they come.
I have spent hours reading these forums to try and decide if this is what we should do. And there seems to be so many mixed feelings on this and other forums. Some say it is the best thing they have ever done and some say the worst.
As for the running up debts again. Since being forced to go bankrupt I have become so careful with money as I never want to be in that situation again. The problem is in this country once you are bankrupt that is it. You will forever be bankrupt. You don't get the chance to explain that the only reason I am bankrupt is that my husband died when I was 28 leaving me with debts that jointly we could afford to pay but on my own I couldn't manage. you just get tarred with the same brush as people who have spent and spent and spent and then used their "get out of jail free card" to wipe out all their debt. At least a fresh start would mean an end to that.
I appreciate all of your advice on this