Help

[Guest Help]

Hello,

 

I'm new here but could do with some help / advise. We are considering moving from London to Adelaide and not only are the visas in place but I also have a firm job offer on the table - quite literally. We are a family of 4 and our children are both very young.

 

However, we are really struggling to make the decision and take the 'plunge'. We like our life in the UK and family obviously plays a big part in such a decision.... not to mention the massive guilt of moving away with the grandchildren etc!!

 

We have put a massive amount of effort to get to this point but not dont know if we should proceed... I know it's our decision and has to be made by us alone - hence don't know exactly what I'm expecting in response to this post.

 

Anyway, if anyone has been in a similar situation and/or feels they could give some useful advise then it would be greatly appreciated.

 

Thanks!!

[Guest Claire-n-tel]

We have put a massive amount of effort to get to this point

 

exactly lots of effort and lots of money......how would you feel if you didn't even give it a go?.....is the visa temporary or permanent?....have you spoken to you families about it?

 

claire

[Guest Help]

Thank you for the reply Claire.

 

It's a permanent visa and family do know - well sort of... regarding the first point, that's obviously key I guess. I suppose we would always wonder what could have been but is that enough to make the move...

[Guest Claire-n-tel]

What made you think about moving here in the first place?....

 

would your our families visit you and could you afford to visit them?

 

are your kids in school yet?

 

tbh no matter what anyone else says I don't think it will make you any more sure.

 

maybe decide to 'try it out' for a set time?

[Guest Help]

I think your 4th point is probably right

 

As for the first, my wife is from Australia.

[snifter]

I think for many people they ask themselves this question once their visa is here and the reality of migrating is actually upon them. Its normal, I think most take a moment to think are we doing the right thing, are we bonkers, is this what we really want, do we do this now... different questions but a similar theme. Many still go on and migrate but some do stop there and don't proceed further.

 

If your visa is temporary and you are just after a few years of adventure then go for it. If you can rent out your house (if you own it) and have your shipping covered at least one way etc, I'd jump at the chance if I wanted to see Aus and this side of the world for a few years. I know plenty of Aussies doing it the other way and heading the Europe or Stateside for a few and making the most of seeing the world (and not just on a WHV). A temp visa in SA is good in that the school fees outside of what the locals pay does not apply like it does in some states. Although if your kids are not school age this won't impact over a few years anyways.

 

If your visa is PR, seriously ask yourself why you are doing this. If you are happy with your life in the UK, your kids are happy and you have no real issues, I don't know rocking the boat is worth it. Life isn't going to be miraculously better here in Adelaide (or any part of Aus), it will still be work, bringing up the kids and all the other things we do in our lives. Only doing it somewhere else in the world. Sure you get to experience the things that living in Aus brings, the sunnier weather (and the stronger more intense sun beating down on you), the coastline, the 'Aussie lifestyle' (depending on what you expect or hope that to be it can be an eye opener), the expense, the differences, the not so different differences and everything else.

 

I think there is a fair part of selfishness people need when migrating with younger children and therefore moving them away from grandparents and families. It can be easier if there is already more distance and less visiting and time spent but if close and seeing them quite often, its perhaps not to be underestimated how you may cope. Also if you are close to them and they are perhaps a big part of your social life, again, you may find it hard. If you are more self sufficient, more independant and not so reliant, it would hopefully be easier but then you can never know how you will cope once you migrate. Some cope really well and don't skip a beat, others struggle from day 1, some later after the initial rush has worn off, even a few years later homesickness or missing loved ones and the life you had can hit. Its then down to if you can work through it or if it eats away to the point you as a family returns. I think having younger children is easier when migrating, mainly as they don't tend to be homesick or missing loved ones too much and are very much more in the here and now and so long as Mum and Dad are around, they are happy. Also being able to hit playgroups and so on can open doors to Mum meeting people, making friends. Many cite the lack of being able to make friends one of the hardest things when they migrate. Lack of Aussie friends perhaps more so as often migrants meet other migrants. Social lives slowly build but it can take time and effort and needing to adapt to how socaialising is done here.

 

I'd also at least discuss what you would do if one of you was truly unhappy and wanted to return but the other was happy with their life in Aus and didn't. If you here with children it would mean that unless you both agreed to return to the UK, then both of you remain in Aus as courts here will generally not allow a child to be removed from the country if one parent doesn't agree and wants them to stay. There are many sad stories from familes who have gone through this over on our sister site, Poms in Oz. Only a small handful have managed to remove their kids from Aus (as a single parent by then usually) back to the UK after a long legal case. Of course, what you may both say/do now may well go out the window should it ever actually happen, but be aware it can and does happen to more couples than you might think. As a couple we agreed that if one of us was truly unhappy here we would return to the UK as a family. As we didn't leave the UK with either of us feeling disullusioned or hating it or feeling like it was failing as a country to return would probably not be as bad as it might for some who were really over living in the UK or who had had a tough time there for whatever reason. As it is, we are both happy with our life here and our child is loving it

 

I think Aus can offer a lot to people but it truly will depend on your expectations and how high you set the bar. And also on how well you adapt and can settle into life here. I think Adelaide is a lovely city (tiny compared to London) and its suburbs vary enough to give migrants lots of choice in the kind of area and lifestyle they are after. Beach (perhaps along the coast is better as for many is they don't actually live right on the beach itself but sea views or not being too far away is often the case) or hills, city or semi rural/rural, it can tick the boxes. It can also offer a lovely life depending on what you like to do and see. We love nature, the outdoors, but are not beach people. So we opted to be more in the hills where we see koalas pretty much every day, an array of birds and kangaroos across the fields. It has also been good for us for sporting activities. Son plays Aus rules, cricket, his swimming is really coming on and he wants to try tennis this spring. Hubby cycles (I do also but not racing or anything like him) and we spend a lot of time out and about. The hottest part of last summer we were living in a house with one old air con unit and it was horrible. But we survived This year, air con throughout so should be much nicer. But did find the 35C plus days unpleasant to be out in and so would often spend the middle of the day inside. That was fine, we'd hit the beach or pool early in the morning and swam at 8am till about 10-11am and then headed home.

 

Also having a job to come to can make a huge difference. For many the struggle to find work can be one of the hardest things to deal with. Sure, plenty do find work but for some it can take a while. Knowing you have an income from the off can really take the pressure off and not seeing savings dwindle is a big plus. Have you considered what you would do if you were not kept on though? Say if at the end of the trial period or after 6 months if it all went south or you hated the company/job, do you have a plan B to continue life in Aus, job hunt and so on.

 

Have you visited Aus/Adelaide before? If you have, you have an idea of what awaits but if it was in holiday mode, day to day life can't compete with that. Holidays are just that, holidays. I find myself feeling rather limited in terms of once you leave Adelaide there is a whole heap of nothing for a very long way. Sure we can get on a plane, but sometimes when you just want to hop in the car and have a weekend break, there is a big difference between saying shall we go to Victor or Robe to saying Wales somewhere, London or even France iykwim. I'm ok with it but it is something I feel and notice. I used to love our weekends away and that we could get to so many different places with ease from where we lived in the UK (Bristol area) and knew it would be different here but it still jars sometimes with me. As to if it grows into more as time goes on, we will see.

[snifter]

I think your 4th point is probably right

 

As for the first, my wife is from Australia.

 

Heh, I'd have written a rather different post if I had known that when writing It can be an advantage having an Aus partner My hubby is an Aussie and from Adelaide, so for him it was coming home after 8 years with me in England. For us, its been a great move and we have not looked back. I think if one half of the couple is from here it can make the transition much easier. For us here his family are around, not right in our pockets but 15-20 minutes drive away. Its good. In England we were a good couple of hours drive from my parents and no other family close by so were really self sufficient. Missing family/friends and being homesick for my home town was never really going to be an issue for me and moving here we just got on with life, slotted in and are loving it.

 

There are a few of us with Aussie OH'd on here

[Guest Claire-n-tel]

I don't think it matters if you visa is a permanent one, you can still treat it like an opportunity to see this side of the world, there is nothing forcing you to stay.....tbh you are at an advantage with a PR visa, you can use it for either a permanent stay or just as a temporary one.

 

Personally I'd go for it, esp as hubby's family are here, you can look at there guilt from the other side, by not coming the 'other grandparents' miss out.

[Guest Help]

Thanks for the very detailed post Snifter - really useful and I'm glad you did put in the effort

 

My wife is from Sydney but the job offer is in Adelaide and we feel this could give us a better quality of life - Sydney is incredibly expensive! I've been to Adelaide before and really liked the place, but as you say this was in holiday mode!

 

I guess we may find the isolation an issue as we used to take long weekends to Europe etc... although not so much now we ave the little ones.... anyhow better run as one is waking and my wife is out

 

Thanks again.

[snifter]

Thanks for the very detailed post Snifter - really useful and I'm glad you did put in the effort

 

My wife is from Sydney but the job offer is in Adelaide and we feel this could give us a better quality of life - Sydney is incredibly expensive! I've been to Adelaide before and really liked the place, but as you say this was in holiday mode!

 

I guess we may find the isolation an issue as we used to take long weekends to Europe etc... although not so much now we ave the little ones.... anyhow better run as one is waking and my wife is out

 

Thanks again.

 

Most welcome If you've been here and liked it, that is a good starting point. Holiday and living day to day are different beasts, but that you like the place you live or move to is always a key thing.

 

Sydney prices seem insane. I know salary wise hubby would earn more in Sydney but the cost of living is higher, so for us Adelaide works well as we have a good income and lifestyle balance.

 

I don't find the isolation an issue per se, just the options somewhat limited. We had hundreds of places we could drive to within 3-4 hours of leaving home in England for a weekend away. Here, its far far less. Of course, there are places to go and things to see, but the variety isn't so great and I sometimes feel a bit hemmed in here in that respect. But its not a deal breaker and as time goes on and we get more settled hopping on a plane for a weekend away will become more manageable a couple of times a year I hope. And then having a drive on a few other weekends to get to Robe, Mt Gambier and elsewhere is fine. Also we are planning a trip to NZ for a summer holiday and having perhaps the full 6 weeks there. Also a trip to the UK next year where we'll head to Europe for a break also. I think that I also lived on the continent for a long time hasn't helped. Being a drive away from a weekend skiiing or heading to Paris on the night train or Berlin on a whim one weekend, those things tend to itch a little. Having said that, having a child, life changes, your focus and priorities shift. We didn't do the kind of weekends away that we once did after baby was born. They were more kid friendly, less city breaks. All good. Plus now I enjoy being more of a homebody and having a less hectic social life. I'm glad I had the chance to do and see all those places and things though. We also want our son to experience that and we have a longer term plan to take a 6 month break and go tour Europe and the UK when he is a few years older, probably a year or two before high school starts here. We've made the decision to remain living here till he finishes school and then we'll see where we want to be. I don't want to drag him back and forth living between countries, ping ponging as it were, it would be detrimental as time goes on. Its here or there for the duration of school now and we are happy here.

Edited September 6, 2014 by snifter

[Guest Guest75]

Hi Help.

Looks like you have the "Bug".

 

Some real plus points are a secure job offer and your wife is an Aussie which is a huge bonus.

 

It takes around two years to start to feel fully settled and about 4 years to catch up financially - with your plus points you should be able to trim those times down.

 

 

The emotional side is another thing - which only you can really deal with.

 

A lot of people live with that "what if" in their lives or would love to take the leap but cannot.

 

You have some cards stacked your way but no one else can tell you what to do.

 

We really came here because we could and looking for a lifestyle change / challenge. Been here 14 years now.

 

Good luck.

[Guest Help]

Thanks for all the useful posts

 

we have decided to make the move!! Shall arrive in mid-Nov and quite excited - but LOADS to do!

[snifter]

Fab to hear you've decided.

 

Mid Nov should give you plenty of time to get organised your end. Its quite a nice timeframe actually. Arrive here to warmer weather, have a bit of time before the Christmas holidays to find your feet.

 

Good luck with all the moving.