Mims33

Good luck xx

Thank you all so much. Doug sounds a lovely man. I could do with some guidance from someone wise :-) I am hoping I can turn this story into a positive one after a tough few years for us all. I really want to change things, we had alot of anxiety and stress when my brother turned violent and my sisters cut me off when I wouldn't forgive him and let him back in our life. Since that day I had nothing but nastiness from my sister wanting me to forgive our brother and her nastiness caused me constant panic attacks. I was doing what was right for my family, having a violent man hurt my husband and then a year later come after me and try to hurt me (police involved both times, you have to say enough is enough and protect your children and yourself. He had hurt his own children, been violent towards other family members but my family just brush everything under the carpet, I however cannot just do that. Everyone around me told me for years my siblings were toxic people but I didn't listen. Boy I wish I had as I could have saved myself alot of pain. I haven't had them in my life for 2-3 years now and during the first 2 years my anxiety was horrific and my poor children witnessed their mum unable to leave the house, which was horrible for me. I had to try and explain to them why I couldn't go out, which wasn't easy. Luckily they are great young people and all supported me, once I started going out I got big high fives everytime I went to a shop, a restaurant..... Last year i took them on holiday again, days out...They were so grateful and always said 'well done mummy' they are just amazing, I cry thinking about it, lol! My life is now good and I had amazing support from my hubby and GP. It's just now there is something I feel that needs to change as we aren't truly happy living here anymore. We feel so much has happened, we are too close to family and I guess I feel uneasy knowing they are so close and they have such aggressive personalities. They have left me alone since the police had to be involved the day my brother chased me in his car, but I think for me I need distance and I need a fresh start. I am happy, my kids are happy but deep down I feel something needs to change. When you've been through something difficult, you come out of the storm a happier and stronger person. You view life differently. I do believe it changes you and I now want to just be happy, truly happy. Our children are all for a move away, our 11 year old soon though has said he would miss his Nan and he gets tearful imagining leaving her. She is my mum and of course I love her, I used to say I couldn't go and leave my mum but after the way I was treated, my mum included, I don't see them as a reason to stay. I know she is so sorry now for treating me badly and putting pressure on me to forgive my siblings (she went about it the wrong way) we have rebuilt our relationship but I still want to go. When I was struggling with agoraphobia and anxiety my mum knew and didn't support me at all, it was my auntie who came to me and was a mother to me. It's really affected my relationship with my mum. Obviously my children don't know about this and they love their Nan dearly. It breaks my heart to see my son upset but I guess I again can't let that stop me from going. We haven't told our children we will go, we just asked them what they thought. Our eldest is almost 13, he is all for it as he thinks a fresh start is just what we need, I really want to do this for him too. Sorry for the ramble. I love my husband and children so much. I want a new life, fresh start in a new place and give my husband his dream. I have no reason to stay here as I feel I have no family, I have been alienated and hurt and as my husband says 'it's harder to live 10 minutes down the road and feel pushed out and hurt by family, it would be so much easier being 10,000 miles away from it'. I agree with him. He only has his father in his life after his mum left his dad, it pains him. I think we have both been given a very poor hand when we were dealt families. Bless him. Thank you all for your kind words. I wear my heart on my sleeve so I am sorry to have poured my heart out. You are all so nice, I am so glad I posted. xx

Thank you all so much :-)

I feel silly posting this but my sons asked me this question and I didn't know what to say, lol! Can you take your Xbox and iphones to Australia and will they work? Of course these are the most important things almost teens need to know

Thank you Wen. I shall take a look x

Doug thank you so so much for your lovely reply. It has really helped me and i can't thank you enough for your kind words. You are right my children do deserve a new life and a better one after all we have been through here. It's been 2 years, almost 3 since my siblings turned violent and destroyed me to the point i couldn't leave my home for a year. My children were amazing as was my husband. They were my rocks and I want to do this for them and give my husband his dream. Thank you again. I shall pm you if you don't mind. Mims xx

Thanks Keith. I shall speak to my GP about the fear I have and see what he suggests. Life is too short to stay here where we feel unsafe and need a fresh start xx

Thank you so much Barbaitch. You are right, I shall speak to my GP about the flight. xx

Thank you Joro. I shall chat to my GP. Life is far too short to stay here miserable after all we have been through. Well I am happier than I was 2 years ago, life has settled since cutting my family out and I am now well BUT there is still something missing and I think it's just that we live so close to them and I feel there is nothing keeping me here now, I want a fresh start away from the bad memories and for my children. It's so hard for them having cut out my family, not seeing their cousins but they fully understand why we don't see family as they sadly witnessed my brother turning up at our house unexpectedly and attacking their father so they don't want anything to do with my family. They have asked a few times can we move away. It breaks my heart, we are a nice happy family and life is better now but like i say I feel there is just something we need to change. Thank you for replying to me xxx

Thank you so much Wen. I am sure the anticipatory anxiety is far worse than me actually doing it. There will be a way around it I'm sure, once I am there I am there and i will settle. I appreciate your reply. Thank you xx

Thank you so much Sam/Craig. I hope things are going well for you. Well done for making the move xx

Thanks Snifter You're right, I need to toughen up as I am sure some of the family we do have left will try to make us stay but honestly it wouldn't be enough for me to stay. My dad tells me to do it and get away from my family who he too has cut out after the way they treated me. I have his blessing so I guess that's all that matters. Breaking the journey up is a really good idea and I shall look into that today. Thank you.

Thank you so much Zebedee, It's been a really tough few years. My son had anxiety after what he witnessed with my brother, and then I fell victim to his behavior and was also plagued with anxiety for a long time. We now feel there is nothing keeping us here and I must admit the last 2 years I have hated living within 10 minutes of my family, I want nothing more than to have a fresh start and give my husband his dream of a life in Australia. I appreciate your reply. Everyone has been so kind. Thank you xx

Thank you. I think we deserve a fresh start, I guess it's down to me to make the final decision and stop letting anxiety stop us having our dream. I could always do a few flights to say Ireland or France to get my confidence up flying. My son point blank refuses to go on boats, haha!!! Where as I would prefer it.

Thank you Jessica. I probably worded the title wrong as I of course want to go to Australia but in the past I said not to going as my family were a huge tie for me. Now they aren not a tie at all and I want to go, but then I change my mind because of my anxiety. It's been a tough few years and I do feel my family and I deserve a fresh start but it's just me holding it back now. I guess everyone is afraid of leaving their comfort zone, I've lived here all my life so it will be daunting but I don't think it would stop me going. If i could close my eyes and just be there now I would. Thanks for your reply. :-)