John and the parrott

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    A young man named John received a parrot as a gift. The

    parrot had a bad attitude and an even worse vocabulary.


    Every word out of the bird's mouth was rude, obnoxious

    and laced with profanity. John tried and tried to

    change the bird's attitude by consistently saying only

    polite words, playing soft music and anything else he could

    think of to 'clean up' the bird's vocabulary.


    Finally, John was fed up and he yelled at the parrot.

    The parrot yelled back. John shook the parrot and the

    parrot got angrier and even more rude. John, in

    desperation, threw up his hand, grabbed the bird and put him in the

    freezer. For a few minutes the parrot squawked and kicked

    and screamed. Then suddenly there was total quiet. Not a peep was heard

    for over a minute.


    Fearing that he'd hurt the parrot, John quickly opened

    the door to the freezer. The parrot calmly stepped out

    onto John's outstretched arms and said "I believe I

    may have offended you with my rude language and

    actions. I'm sincerely remorseful for my

    inappropriate transgressions and I fully intend to do

    everything I can to correct my rude and unforgivable



    John was stunned at the change in the bird's attitude.


    As he was about to ask the parrot what had made such a

    dramatic change in his behavior, the bird spoke-up, very

    softly, "May I ask what the turkey did?"

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    One day a man went to an auction. There, he found an exotic

    parrot. He really wanted this bird, so he got caught up in the bidding. He kept

    bidding, but kept getting outbid, so he went higher and higher and higher.


    Finally, after bidding much more than he had intended, he

    finally won. The bird was his! As he was paying for the parrot, he said to the

    auctioneer, "I sure hope this parrot isn't defective. I'd hate to pay this much

    money only to find out that he can't talk!"


    "Of course he can talk," said the auctioneer. "Who do you

    think kept bidding against you?"

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