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That's how the fight started!!!!


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When I got home last night, my wife demanded that I take her someplace

> expensive.....so, I took her to a gas station.... and that's how the

> fight started....


> *********************************************************



> I tried to talk my wife into buying a case of Miller Light for

> $14.95.Instead, she bought a jar of cold cream for $7.95. I told her


> beer would make her look better at night than the cold cream. And


> how the fight started.





> After retiring, I went to the Social Security office to apply for


> Security. The woman behind the counter asked me for my driver's


> to verify my age. I looked in my pockets and realized I had left my

> wallet at home. I told the woman that I was very sorry, but I would


> to go home and come back later. The woman said, 'Unbutton your shirt'.

> So I opened my shirt revealing my curly silver hair. She said, 'That

> silver hair on your chest is proof enough for me' and she

> processed my Social Security application. When I got home, I excitedly

> told my wife about my experience at the Social Security office. She

> said, 'You should have dropped your pants. You might have gotten

> disability, too'. And that's how the fight started.....





> My wife and I were sitting at a table at my high school reunion, and I

> kept staring at a drunken lady swigging her drink as she sat alone at


> nearby table. My wife asked, 'Do you know her?' 'Yes,' I sighed,


> my old girlfriend. I understand she took to drinking right after we

> split up those many years ago, and I hear she hasn't been sober


> 'My God!' says my wife, 'Who would think a person could go on

> celebrating that long?' And that's how the fight started.....





> I rear-ended a car this morning. So, there we were alongside the road

> and slowly the other driver got out of his car. You know how sometimes

> you just get soooo stressed and little things just seem funny? Yeah,

> well I couldn't believe it.... he was a DWARF!!! He stormed over to my

> car, looked up at me, and shouted, 'I AM NOT HAPPY!!!' So, I looked


> at him and said, 'Well, then which one are you?' And that's how the

> fight started.....




> I took my wife to a restaurant. The waiter, for some reason, took my

> order first. 'I'll have the strip steak, medium rare, please.' He


> 'Aren't you worried about the mad cow?' 'Nah, she can order for

> herself.' And that's how the fight started.....

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