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    1. #1

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      7 Reasons Not To Mess With Children!!

      A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales.
      The teacher said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human because even though it was a very large mammal its throat was very small.
      The little girl stated that Jonah was swallowed by a whale.
      Irritated, the teacher reiterated that a whale could not swallow a human; it was physically impossible.
      The little girl said, 'When I get to heaven I will ask Jonah'.
      The teacher asked, 'What if Jonah went to hell?'
      The little girl replied, 'Then you ask him'.
      -------------------------------------------------------
      A Kindergarten teacher was observing her classroom of children while they were drawing. She would occasionally walk around to see each child's work.
      As she got to one little girl who was working diligently, she asked what the drawing was.
      The girl replied, 'I'm drawing God.'
      The teacher paused and said, 'But no one knows what God looks like.'
      Without missing a beat, or looking up from her drawing, the girl replied, 'They will in a minute.'

      ---------------------------------------------------

      A Sunday school teacher was discussing the Ten Commandments with her five and six year olds.
      After explaining the commandment to 'honour' thy Father and thy Mother, she asked, 'Is there a commandment that teaches us how to treat our brothers and sisters?'
      Without missing a beat one little boy (the oldest of a family) answered, 'Thou shall not kill.'

      ----------------------------------------------
      One day a little girl was sitting and watching her mother do the dishes at the kitchen sink. She suddenly noticed that her mother had several strands of white hair sticking out in contrast on her brunette head.
      She looked at her mother and inquisitively asked, 'Why are some of your hairs white, Mom?'
      Her mother replied, 'Well, every time that you do something wrong and make me cry or unhappy, one of my hairs turns white.'
      The little girl thought about this revelation for a while and then said, 'Momma, how come ALL of grandma's hairs are white?'
      ------------------------------------------------------
      The children had all been photographed, and the teacher was trying to persuade them each to buy a copy of the group picture.
      'Just think how nice it will be to look at it when you are all grown up and say, 'There's Jennifer, she's a lawyer,' or 'That's Michael, He's a doctor.'
      A small voice at the back of the room rang out, 'And there's the teacher, she's dead.'
      ------------------------------------------------------------
      A teacher was giving a lesson on the circulation of the blood. Trying to make the matter clearer, she said, 'Now, class, if I stood on my head, the blood, as you know, would run into it, and I would turn red in the face.'
      'Yes,' the class said.
      'Then why is it that while I am standing upright in the ordinary position the blood doesn't run into my feet?'
      A little fellow shouted,
      'Cause your feet ain't empty.'


      ------------------------------------------------------
      The children were lined up in the cafeteria of a Catholic elementary school for lunch. At the head of the table was a large pile of apples. The nun made a note, and posted on the apple tray:
      'Take only ONE . God is watching.'
      Moving further along the lunch line, at the other end of the table was a large pile of chocolate chip cookies.
      A child had written a note, 'Take all you want. God is watching the apples.'



      Cornelia (43) Andy (44!!), Ally (18) & Wee Andi (15) x

    2. #2

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      They made me giggle, especially the last one.

      Thanks

    3. #3
      caoimhe
      Quote Originally Posted by Trakki View Post
      They made me giggle, especially the last one.

      Thanks
      Me too but I was taught by Nuns

    4. #4

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      Very funny :)

      Another good reason not to mess with children:

      They have knifes now.

    5. #5

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      Just got home from a meal with the family and saw this thread, thought I'd have to tell you this one after what my daughter said this evening on the way home.

      Sitting in the back of the car we heard her say oooh the taste is off, we looked at each other because we all had the same meal and thought it was lovely, so said, oh dear did the meal leave a bad taste in your mouth, no she said the taste is off I looked at where she was pointing a restaurant called The Taste of Hong kong all lite up appart from the word TASTE.

      Sorry we thought it was funny.



      Julie

    6. #6

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      Quote Originally Posted by julie-ruth View Post
      Just got home from a meal with the family and saw this thread, thought I'd have to tell you this one after what my daughter said this evening on the way home.

      Sitting in the back of the car we heard her say oooh the taste is off, we looked at each other because we all had the same meal and thought it was lovely, so said, oh dear did the meal leave a bad taste in your mouth, no she said the taste is off I looked at where she was pointing a restaurant called The Taste of Hong kong all lite up appart from the word TASTE.

      Sorry we thought it was funny.





      Julie

      to children, they are the best!
      Cornelia (43) Andy (44!!), Ally (18) & Wee Andi (15) x

    7. #7

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      Just thought I would share this one with you.

      My OH was out shopping and had taken our daughter with him to help (daddy's girl!), she was only a toddler at the time and as they do, she said she needed the toilet.

      So off they went into the gents. On entering the toilet my daughter points to the wall and asks "Daddy, what's that?"

      My OH responds "That's a urinal, it's for going to the toilet" followed by my daughter "Well if that's your inal where's mine?"
      Cornelia (43) Andy (44!!), Ally (18) & Wee Andi (15) x

     

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