Carol

**** I understand what your saying but my circumstance is totally different, both my parents think we have done the right thing moving here, they were both all for it, not once did either of them say a negative word. We lived 3 hours away from my parents in the UK, so they were never a big part of mine or the childrens life. I speak to mum every 3 weeks and she is always happy that we are doing so well, it's the fact that they cant be bothered to come and see us, as i stated before mum made comment that we may never see them again if we dont go back to visit ( Which of course we will some time) I am just amazed they are not interested in seeing us and the grandchildren in our new environment, i love my parents dearly, especially my mum and it hurts to think the way they think, we have been here nearly 2 years and i haven't missed them as such, as we didn't see much of them anyway but i always assumed they would visit!!!!! ***** Hello Simon Yes I can see how different it is for you especially as you have young children. It is natural to want them to know their grandparents. I have three sons and ten grandchildren in the UK and the relationship I have with my grandchildren is very precious. It is sad that your parents are denying themselves the chance to have this kind of relationship. I can only suggest that your children try to keep the relationship going by posting things back to the UK. A picture they did at school, a copy of an essay they wrote and of course photographs are a few of the things they could include. It is easy to forget in this day of hi-tech equipment that us oldies would much prefer a hard copy of things rather than an attachment to an email. We do not all have the skills or equipment to print things out. If the postage cost is not too high a scrap book of their summer activities and achievements would be a lovely thing to send. The children could have fun putting it all together and your parents could hopefully find great enjoyment in looking at it all time and again. The kind of things that would interest me apart from the children of course, would be the flowers you can grow in your garden and the local wildlife - just send what you think may be of interest to them. I hope you manage to persuade them that you need them to visit - that it is very important to you and your family. Good luck in your life in Australia. Carol PS Although Simon didn't find my post relevant or helpful I hope that others may read it and understand a little how very difficult and painful it is to be left behind. I think it helps to be able to see all sides of a situation. I admire you all, it must take great courage to live the dream.

Hello Simon I have read all through this thread and would like to tell you how I feel. I am one of the parents left behind in the UK. My daughter and her husband emigrated to Adelaide two and a half years ago. As a parent I know I should be happy for them in their new life but I cannot accept that they choose to live their life without their family. They went alone, my daughter left her grown up daughter here. I supported and helped them all the way through the slow and sometimes painful emigration process. They needed a lot of support and encouragement in the beginning but slowly settled. They bought a house and we visited when they had been there eighteen months. They financed the trip, it was my first ever flight and I found it all very traumatic. We enjoyed our time with them in Australia but somehow it seemed to change our relationship. Within a short time of our visit they moved again and bought a dog and it became obvious that they were staying forever. I had always secretly hoped they would come home but all hope is gone. I am a mess, I can't communicate with them without being upset. Every update about their life makes me want to scream - how can you be so happy without us. I have now asked my daughter not to communicate with me as I can't spend my life in tears. My theory being - if I don't know what she is doing then it can't upset me. I know I am being a bad parent and not acting as I should and I suppose it is my defence mechanism. Build a wall, block them out then they can't hurt me. I wonder if your parents feel a little like me and my explanation will help you to understand how they feel. If they are like me then you will never be far from their thoughts. I hope this may help you a little. A heart broken Mum Carol

Yes I got one as well. In the bin where it belongs.

Hello Sarah Thanks for replying. Boy, did you touch a nerve? You certainly made me sit up and take notice. I managed to be supportive till they went and never actually said don't go. But I can't talk to my daughter on the phone and I know she wants to talk to me, so my support has flown out the window. I think I fall into your category of "off" people. I need to think about that. I would like to think my daughter could respect me for the way I have handled this difficult situation. At the moment I doubt that she could. I am so glad I posted this query. The answers I have received have already helped me. Hello Donna Thanks for your reply, your parents sound wonderful. I have replied to your pm, thank you so much. Hello Sharon Thanks for your Mum's email address. She sounds great, I look forward to communicating with her. I am so sorry if I upset you, I certainly didn't mean to. As I said in my original post, I think you are all so brave. I don't want to add to anyones worries about leaving the UK. The goodbyes are hard for everyone. I truly believed it was easier for my daughter as she had her new life to look forward to and all I had was a big gap in my life. But having read all these responses from such caring people I am starting to realiise how selfish I am being. I need to put my sorrow aside and help my daughter. Thank you Carol

Hello Ian Many thanks for replying. We fully supported our daughter through all the application procedure and like to think we helped both physically and emotionally. But I don't think we thought past the day they left. I didn't know it would hurt like this. Everyone says it's still very early days, I really hope they are right. Carol Hello Ali Thanks for taking the time to reply. My daughtersays exactly the sam, she didn't move to hurt me, only to have a better life. Thank you for your best wishes. Hi Suzer I too am trying to keep busy, have put off retirement for now. Need to save the air fare to Oz - never been on a plane in my life but have recently got a passport. I just need to pluck up the courage. Hi Lisa Grief is a good description of my feelings. I am sure we will keep in touch with emails and webcam conversations once they are set up in their new home. Thanks for replying Carol

Hello everyone I have been reading this forum for a while looking for answers but still haven't seen a discussion about my problem. My daughter and her husband flew to Adelaide and their new life five weeks ago. I am so sad I am finding it really difficult to share their excitement and happiness. I have no wish to put a damper on any ones hopes and expectations, I think you are all so brave. What I need is someone to talk to who understands how I am feeling. So if anyone has a parent back in the UK who might like to share their feelings and thoughts with me please pass on my email address to them. Thanks Carol