Guest vikkiann

Emotional Rollercoaster

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    Guest vikkiann

    Well, we accepted an offer on our house, we have our visa and now i don't want to go!

     

    I know this is going to sound crazy................

     

    We've gone through so much to get to this stage but telling my brother and sister yesterday that we'll be gone before Christmas has broken me. My sister is pregnant and is heartbroken. I feel absolutely awful leaving her and I'm trying to explain to her that i have to do what i believe is right for my children and us but she doesn't understand.

    Is it normal to feel the way i do?

    I can't imagine saying goodbye to her.

    I'm the biggest emotional wreck on this website.

    Somebody please give me some advice.

     

    Vikki

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    Guest SA Great

    Just ask yourself one question: how will you feel if you don't go? will you blame your sister for getting in your way? will you always be wondering what it would have been like? It's always a tough decision and the final decision is entirely up to you of course but you are obviously keen to give it a go because if you weren't then you wouldn't have gone this far. It's easy for me to say but I reckon give it a go

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    Take a big breath, let it out slowly! What you are feeling is very very normal, you are about to embark a journey that will take you away from every thing and everyone you know. Your brain is wired to have a little voice in the back saying ...what if...... Your family is going through the same emotions too. The world is a small place these days and it isn't as though you are setting off on a 3 month journey in a leaky boat. Emotions do follow a rollercoaster, usually with small inclines and little dips, but you are at the top of a very big drop, not knowing where it will rise again. You will see your family again. You will speak to them on the phone, see them on the computer, and you will go back at some stage. There will be times when you grieve for what you have left behind, but hopefully your life here will slowly take hold and begin to shape your new life.

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    vic thats so sad youve come a bloody long way to jack it all in now, know how you must be feeling coz my twin sister who i aint seen in 2 years(shes never even met the baby) she is coming down on friday and the more i think of it the more its gonna kill me saying goodbye to her coz i know she aint got the money to come over and got no computer etc.

    just wanna say am thinking about ya gurl

     

    suexxx

     

    p.s have sobbed typing this out!!

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    Guest sarahsmartiepants

    You are right it does sound crazy............it has taken you over a year to get to this point, you cant pull out now! As SA Great says how will you feel if you dont do it? You need to deal with it before you come so you can start with a clean slate when you arrive. Saying goodbye is always hard and has to be done, there are no two waYS about it.

    good luck

    sarah:wubclub:

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    Guest swampo

    We fly in 3 weeks time and I am having wobblies as well. You just have to focus on the reasons for you wanting to move to Australia in the first place and what is best for your family.

     

    The world really is a smaller place these days and email, webcams, skype etc make it even smaller. As our daughter said, 'we will probably talk more over the phone/webcam/skype, than we do now' and I think she is probably right because you make the consious effort to do so. And, just think how lovely it will be if/when they come over to visit.

     

    Chin up girl, it will get worst before it gets better but it will be worth it in the end.

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    Guest Greg and Karen
    Well, we accepted an offer on our house, we have our visa and now i don't want to go!

     

    I know this is going to sound crazy................

     

    We've gone through so much to get to this stage but telling my brother and sister yesterday that we'll be gone before Christmas has broken me. My sister is pregnant and is heartbroken. I feel absolutely awful leaving her and I'm trying to explain to her that i have to do what i believe is right for my children and us but she doesn't understand.

    Is it normal to feel the way i do?

    I can't imagine saying goodbye to her.

    I'm the biggest emotional wreck on this website.

    Somebody please give me some advice.

     

    Vikki

     

    Vikki, there is no easy answer to this. My wife and I have gone through the same traumas as have many others on this board. But you've hit the nail on the head - you're doing this for your children and they have to come first! Trust me, its hard but you won't regret it.

     

    A big help for us has been the internet, e-mails and webcams - it makes the world a much smaller place. Give your sister time to absorb the news and she may come round. And don't forget, nothing is forever! Tell her you're going on a long holiday, get yourself down here, get your visa sorted so you then have options for the future! If you don't use the visa you'll be stuck in Greyland, if you do use it then you can always go back.

     

    Keep your options open and be strong for the kids.

     

    Good luck x

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    Hiya this is my penny's worth for you, the emotional side of going is the hardest of all but you put it in your own message you are doing this for your Kids its going to give your kids new opportunity's and a fantastic experience, letting go is always hard but your not leaving Planet Earth you can always come back and she can always come and visit you never know when your there she might visit decide she likes it so much she might just come down and move in with you.

     

    Goodluck with whatever you decision.

     

    Julie

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    Guest vikkiann

    I will be going i think i was just having a down day, my aunt came to visit and just her giving me a hug made it all better. I would be crazy to not go (maybe i'm already crazy!) after coming this far.

    Seeing my aunt and visiting House of Fraser has made me feel so much better, i won't tell my hubby about the House of Fraser bit though, lol.

    Thank you everyone for your very kind and honest words.

    Sue, i'm sorry i made you cry!

     

    Vikki

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    Guest The Angus Clan
    Well, we accepted an offer on our house, we have our visa and now i don't want to go!

     

    I know this is going to sound crazy................

     

    We've gone through so much to get to this stage but telling my brother and sister yesterday that we'll be gone before Christmas has broken me. My sister is pregnant and is heartbroken. I feel absolutely awful leaving her and I'm trying to explain to her that i have to do what i believe is right for my children and us but she doesn't understand.

    Is it normal to feel the way i do?

    I can't imagine saying goodbye to her.

    I'm the biggest emotional wreck on this website.

    Somebody please give me some advice.

     

    Vikki

     

    Vikki , I so feel for you , but just keep in mind what started you on this long and difficult journey in the first place. I have doubts too, especially when I see my eldest get so upset about the move - its hard upsetting the ones you love. Hang in there and it'll all come right.

    Marcia:wubclub:

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    Guest sarahsmartiepants
    I will be going i think i was just having a down day, my aunt came to visit and just her giving me a hug made it all better. I would be crazy to not go (maybe i'm already crazy!) after coming this far.

    Seeing my aunt and visiting House of Fraser has made me feel so much better, i won't tell my hubby about the House of Fraser bit though, lol.

    Thank you everyone for your very kind and honest words.

    Sue, i'm sorry i made you cry!

     

    Vikki

    Good girl.......you know it makes sence! Next year you can have secret shopping trips to Target instead:biglaugh:

    sarah

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    Guest graandjac
    Just ask yourself one question: how will you feel if you don't go? will you blame your sister for getting in your way? will you always be wondering what it would have been like? It's always a tough decision and the final decision is entirely up to you of course but you are obviously keen to give it a go because if you weren't then you wouldn't have gone this far. It's easy for me to say but I reckon give it a go

     

    As above....spot on. to back out now would be madness....you will always be asking WHAT IF...!!!!! no one said the last stages were easy.....nearly there come on.

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    Guest vikkiann

    If i thought my sister made me feel bad the emotional blackmail i got from my dad was even worse. He's sad that he'll never see us again, i tried explaining that he will see us but it was a waste of time. Thankfully the kind words that i received from you guys made me stronger this time and no matter who tries to make me feel bad its too late we are going.

     

    Vikki

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    Guest vikkiann

    Thanks Sue.

    Any news from ASPC? I keep waiting to hear your screams!!

     

    Vikki

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    Guest SA Great
    As above....spot on. to back out now would be madness....you will always be asking WHAT IF...!!!!! no one said the last stages were easy.....nearly there come on.

     

    Thanks Graham!!!!

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    Guest texas

    Hi there vicki,

     

    We go in three weeks time from Hampshire and I am travelling up north to see my folks on Saturday and it is my dads 80th birthday and my sister and her husband have just split up after 22 years of marriage and she is distraught. My friend lost her husband last week and I will miss the funeral as I will be saying goodbye to my family. I am not sure even why I am goin now when I have soooo many friends here, but if I don't i will always wonder. At least if we go, we can say we tried it! We decided to let our house here just in case and that does give me a bit of a comfort, but it is still scary even though we already have friends out there and my husband has some relatives.

     

    My main worry is - I HATE FLYING SO MUCH - I HAVE VALIUM READY, although after the weeks I have had, I have tried a couple already and I only have six left! (don't worry doctor only gave me 8). So keep in touch and we can go through the emotions together!!! When are you hoping to fly. We fly on the 8th October. I feel guilty some days taking my son who is 10 away from his friends, he is so happy at the moment and I worry about allsorts of things, what if something happens to him etc etc..... I have been in tears many times and some days I am excited and other days I don't want to go at all. I just hope I don't have a panic attack at the airport! I suppose it is only natural and I am a worrit anyway.

     

    So, good luck, try and think positive, I know it is hard, and keep in touch and let me know how you get on.

     

    Love Carole

    x

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    Thanks Sue.

    Any news from ASPC? I keep waiting to hear your screams!!

     

    Vikki

    no visa no sreams!!!!

    no news is good news so they say

     

    suexxx

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    Guest cazzie
    Hi there vicki,

     

    We go in three weeks time from Hampshire and I am travelling up north to see my folks on Saturday and it is my dads 80th birthday and my sister and her husband have just split up after 22 years of marriage and she is distraught. My friend lost her husband last week and I will miss the funeral as I will be saying goodbye to my family. I am not sure even why I am goin now when I have soooo many friends here, but if I don't i will always wonder. At least if we go, we can say we tried it! We decided to let our house here just in case and that does give me a bit of a comfort, but it is still scary even though we already have friends out there and my husband has some relatives.

     

    My main worry is - I HATE FLYING SO MUCH - I HAVE VALIUM READY, although after the weeks I have had, I have tried a couple already and I only have six left! (don't worry doctor only gave me 8). So keep in touch and we can go through the emotions together!!! When are you hoping to fly. We fly on the 8th October. I feel guilty some days taking my son who is 10 away from his friends, he is so happy at the moment and I worry about allsorts of things, what if something happens to him etc etc..... I have been in tears many times and some days I am excited and other days I don't want to go at all. I just hope I don't have a panic attack at the airport! I suppose it is only natural and I am a worrit anyway.

     

    So, good luck, try and think positive, I know it is hard, and keep in touch and let me know how you get on.

     

    Love Carole

    x

     

    Oh Carole!

    How the valium bit in your post made me laugh!! It really is so hard for you with everything that is happening around you so emotional at the moment. Once you settle here, you probably won't need to go near the valium again - yay!

    Good luck with it all and good luck to Vikki too - it will be worth it in the end.

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    Guest texas
    Oh Carole!

    How the valium bit in your post made me laugh!! It really is so hard for you with everything that is happening around you so emotional at the moment. Once you settle here, you probably won't need to go near the valium again - yay!

    Good luck with it all and good luck to Vikki too - it will be worth it in the end.

     

     

     

     

    Hi Cazzie,

     

    Thanks, I hope so!!!:unsure:

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    Guest grants

    We are currently in Singapore and its 3.30am in the morning but all wide awake! Jet lag is not good.

     

    We have had a very difficult week saying our goodbyes to everyone and just hope we are doing the right thing. My OH has found it even more difficult as his parents have been not very supportive and my mother in law has been piling on the emotional blackmail saying they are too old to visit and how could we do this to her taking her grand children away. (they are 73 and 75 and in relatively good health).

     

    She sobbed and wailed when it was time to leave which was very up setting for all of us. I just hope she is Ok and they will book to come out and see us in soon.

     

    I think you have just got to think why we have all put ourselves through this in the first place. Hopefully for a better life and I am optimistic it will be. My OH is not as optimistic but we are hoping it will all work out. We have promised each other we will give it 2 years and if it does not work out for 1 of us we will return to the UK.

     

    Just be brave and go for it. I am sure you will regret it one day if you don't.:wubclub:

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    Guest SA Great
    We are currently in Singapore and its 3.30am in the morning but all wide awake! Jet lag is not good.

     

    We have had a very difficult week saying our goodbyes to everyone and just hope we are doing the right thing. My OH has found it even more difficult as his parents have been not very supportive and my mother in law has been piling on the emotional blackmail saying they are too old to visit and how could we do this to her taking her grand children away. (they are 73 and 75 and in relatively good health).

     

    She sobbed and wailed when it was time to leave which was very up setting for all of us. I just hope she is Ok and they will book to come out and see us in soon.

     

    I think you have just got to think why we have all put ourselves through this in the first place. Hopefully for a better life and I am optimistic it will be. My OH is not as optimistic but we are hoping it will all work out. We have promised each other we will give it 2 years and if it does not work out for 1 of us we will return to the UK.

     

    Just be brave and go for it. I am sure you will regret it one day if you don't.:wubclub:

     

    Good to see you are going to give it 2 years, although 3 is better!!!! I think to emigrate you have to put on the selfish cap sometimes and think this is MY life and I will do what I want to do. It worked for me!!! You will always get the emotional blackmail but just ignore it. Think what a great achievement you will have accomplished by giving it a go. Good on ya!

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