stay or go

[Guest Debbie Whittaker]

Hi as i said petrol is not a deal breaker! Its once a week not everyday of your life like home sickness! I could never compare the two! Cost of living is astronomical here and i know as i have lived here 11 years nearly plus have just come back from uk. Do your research carefully and if its down to cost of things like petrol think very carefully before you leave it all behind. Good luck x

[Guest Debbie Whittaker]

Woops forgot to say also factor in the dollar v pound cos it doesnt last. what seems good/bad now doesnt stay the same. ive lived here through you getting 38 pence to the dollar and 68 pence so you have to weigh it up if its for the long haul and not treat it as the share market x

[Guest moonraker1959]

You think the cost of living is high here. It's Easter long weekend and I have just filled my car up at $1.35 a litre. I have also just been on the Yorkshire Evening post website and seen that people in Leeds are paying one pount thirty five a litre, that is double what we pay. I made the right choice 17 years ago and have never looked back. The only reason I go back to the UK is to see my relatives.

I think you also have factor in that when you live in Australia,you may have to drive further due to the size of the place.My two brothers for example live in a small country town,their choice of course but they then have a 25 min drive to the supermarket and other shops.So I can well imagine some folks having a good whinge about the price of petrol in SA at the moment.They usually stick the price up around public holidays when alot of folk are going away for the weekend.

[ian mc]

Reading some post on here some people either had a really bad upbringing or came from really bad areas of the UK the way they pay out the UK

[Guest guest4504]

Reading some post on here some people either had a really bad upbringing or came from really bad areas of the UK the way they pay out the UK

 

Well phrased and so true.

[Guest liotis]

Every choice in life is a crossroad that you can either embrace or reject. There are positives and negatives in every situation. I tried to settle in Holland with my husband who thought that country was utopia. It didnt work for me. I loved the beauty of the architecture and I made some really special friends, have kept them. But somehow, the spirit of the land did not suit me. I started out positively and with every intention of making it home, but it didnt become home for me. I felt that I lost the sense of magic there. Since being out here some pretty horrendous things have happened to me and what I found was that I had so much support, and such good, supportive and intelligent friends around. Its funny, but the tough times confirmed for me that this is home.

[Guest Becster19]

I think the key is not to make a hasty decision. Definitely go back for a holiday first. The UK is in a very difficult place at the moment and jobs are being lost left right and centre. I am a teacher and would never have thought that I would be at risk of redundancy, yet I lost my job on Friday. We have lived in Adelaide previously and in New Zealand but we decided to come back to the UK in 2008 as New Zealand was not offering us what we hoped for and we needed to come home to tie things up financially as we had left 3 years previously on working holidays visas. I never regret any decisions, as you learn from everything and regret is a wasted emotion, but we are now getting set to head off again. I love the UK but I think you have to look at the kind of life that you want to live and what place would offer that the most. The OH and I are outdoors people and sunshine and warmth make a big difference to us due to the activities we enjoy. There are so many things I will miss when I leave and I love England and am proud to be English but that doesn't mean its the right place for me to live and bring up my family.

 

I do think a lot of people that emigrate do under estimate how far Australia is and that it is difficult being so far from family and friends.

[Guest moonraker1959]

Becstar,we're also outdoor people and I can honestly say I have spent more time outdoors here(uk)than I ever did in my 30 years in Oz!

[Guest Guest75]

Becstar,we're also outdoor people and I can honestly say I have spent more time outdoors here(uk)than I ever did in my 30 years in Oz!

 

Jeez Moonraker I'm stunned at this statement:shocked:

 

You must love the very changeable,cold,wet and miserable stuff. Are you sure you do live in the UK.????

 

 

 

Personally I spend a massively larger amount of time out here in South Australia. Winters are milder,much less chance of rain or even snow. Lot's of nice sunny days. Yes the nights get cold.

[Guest moonraker1959]

Jeez Moonraker I'm stunned at this statement:shocked:

 

You must love the very changeable,cold,wet and miserable stuff. Are you sure you do live in the UK.????

 

 

 

Personally I spend a massively larger amount of time out here in South Australia. Winters are milder,much less chance of rain or even snow. Lot's of nice sunny days. Yes the nights get cold.

Why stunned Tyke?Its true!Look my OH used to work as a relief farmer and we moved around alot in the UK,from Scotland,Cumbria and pretty much everywhere in between.Some places were better weather wise than others.For example,whilst we lived in Scotland and North of England we did'nt experience any warm summers,and no it was chucking it down all the time either.We walk alot,and I can honestly say,hand on heart I can count on one hand the amount of times in the last 11 years that we have had to stay indoors due to bad weather!When I lived in SA,I lived in the hills,and it was more changeable there than what it is here.I can recall terrential rain,so bad I could'nt walk the kids to school and we'd have to ring one of my friends who had a car to collect us!!!!I have never understood it when some people state they are moving their kids to Australia,so they can get a more outdoor lifestyle!My kids were 9 and 11 when we moved here(uk)and the only thing that changed for them was swimming.I can also remember days living in SA that were just too sweltering to even contemplate going outside.Ok this is a good example.Last year OH and I had two weeks off.We had originally planned to go back to India(we have built a school there)but due to an increase on dengue fever at that time,it was too risky.So we decided to have a staycation!We were out everyday on different walks,and it was fabulous!Today it has been raining and thank god it has because the farmers are crying out for it,and my garden will definately appreciate it!

[Sallyh]

I've missed a lot of this thread since it originally appeared but I am not surprised by your comment Moonraker! For a start you're Aussie so you have had a different perspective on outdoor Australia anyway, and I could never understand the "indoors" lifestyle in summer when I came on trips here to visit family and friends before we moved.

 

Just about every friend I have here who's had a baby has been told they are vitamin D deficient, in fact there's been stuff in the news about it not so long ago. And not just pregnant women. You don't actually have to get a lot of daylight to have enough vitamin D. I do think amongst Australians there's definitely more of a culture of staying indoors when it's hot. And having aircon on a lot. Or maybe our Aussie family and friends here are unusual, but I don't get that impression. I do find keeping the house dark and curtains drawn also to be soul destroying but again those who've grown up with it, know that it's a sensible way to keep the house cool and you pay for it if you don't.

 

I do feel that in the hot summer time we are limited more than in the UK in terms of useable outside time. Maybe those who work all week don't have that feeling because it's highly likely you can get out more (and for longer) in the evenings / weekends than you did in the UK. But for me, being at home with children and a young baby, I do feel that the "useable" daytime is less so when it's hot. Although it may well balance out at this time of year, and in the winter / spring.

[Sallyh]

There's loads of stuff on vitamin D deficiency but this link is interesting:

http://www.sunsmart.com.au/vitamin_d/how_much_sun_is_enough

Most summer days in SA: only a few mins sun per day is needed

May - Aug - 2 -3 hrs per week.

 

So for it to be fairly common for people to be vitamin D deficient, they can't be spending much time outside.

[Guest moonraker1959]

Yes sallyh,you're right!When I lived in SA,in summer all the curtains were drawn,blinds down,doors shut,atleast until the sun went down!Yes we do the same here in winter,sure,but we can enjoy fresh air in summer with the windows/doors open and not have to contend with an air conditioner beating away.If we want scorching heat we head overseas!

[Guest Beverley1305]

I know exactly how you feel - I first came here in 1991 and finally got a Visa in 2008 - but now we're here it's somehow an anti-climax! In the time it took to get a Visa, life took over, we had a family and got careers (not just jobs) but then figured that after all that we should give it a go!

 

My hubby is working but has taken a step back versus what he did in the UK and from my perspective more time with my little one is great, but trying to find a job has proved really hard work and I am wondering what we REALLY gave up.

 

We too feel we have done nothing but shell out since arriving which dwindles the house fund somewhat and although we have met people and do things at the weekend with the kids it's not as easy to settle in as I had expected.

 

I don't think hubby will go home but I am homesick and weirdly missing my work where I had been for 17years. When we came here, we said we all had to be happy or we would go home, but when it is a hung jury, it is a nightmare - I am a firm believer that everything happens for a reason and I am sure that for you, as well as us, something will happen which makes the decision one way or the other, but in the meantime, try to look for all the things you do like about being here and build on them - plus, try stuff you would never dream of doing in England while you have the chance - who knows the lightbulb moment could be just around the corner!

 

Someone said to me that you have to decide if you want the right thing or the easy thing - is the UK just a comfort zone you will settle for - wherever you end up it can only be YOUR decision!

[Guest Cadas]

I've just been mooching back through posts and would just offer my thoughts. My family and I are heading down to Adelaide this year, but for us it's our fourth country in seven years so my perspective may be a bit different to some new arrivals.

 

I do despair at many of the tv progs, they focus heavily on the good life and the plus points....' hey you can go to the beach every night' ....... You can do this you can do that....... What about this fab house.....etc.....

 

Great, stick 300k in my imaginary fist and point me toward any town in the uk and I'll find the house if my dreams.

 

Plus, having lived by the beach for nearly ten years, you don't go very often after the first year..... It's nice on odd weekends but you have tons of other crap to do at weekends without cleaning sand out the car and dragging kids to hose them down.

 

All that said..... The thing to bear in mind when you emigrate is that you are moving to a FOREIGN country, that's your choice, you signed up to it.

 

Now, you still have to shop, you'll still be screaming at kids to clean their teeth, cars break down, you still have to find the chemist to buy pile cream, your boss is still an a***,

 

Upshot is ..... It's still life....exactly as it was before, just warmer, with more bugs and with different rules. You used to have 48 weeks of lifecrap and 4 weeks of holiday..... That doesn't change because you emigrate, I've met many who think that life becomes a 3 day week and 'why can't we go to the pub in the village three nights a week and get hammered, we've emigrated'. Yes but, you didn't do it back home, you're spending your savings and your new boss is no more impressed than your last one would have been!!

 

Many who start looking back on uk with rose tinted specs, forget they looked at the new country with the same positive outlook..... We forget pain and bad experiences very quickly.

 

I love new places, relax, accept it's different, accept you will have moments when you want to kill every local and dance on their grave in a union jack g string.... And if you can't, then you can't. Find what makes you happy.

[Guest moonraker1959]

What a great post Cadas!!! I wonder how aussies would feel if they were shown "Escape to the Country"as a show on what emigrating to the UK would be like,do you think it would fit the reality?:biglaugh:So why is "Wanted down Under"any different?I love both countries but some programmes make me cringe!

[Sallyh]

Well you certainly have a way of putting it, Cadas, not exactly my style but your wisdom is not dissimilar from my own!!!!

 

I think the problem with moving overseas can be falling into the trap of thinking that it is going to fix things that are actually inherent problems in people's lives, and finding out that moving is hard and doesn't fix them is the risk. I don't know if anyone is brave enough to admit that they've been in that place, and a public forum isn't really the place one would expect them to do that. Admitting that to self and family is probably hard enough and something many wouldn't do. So I have big respect for those who actually DO go back and say it didn't work out, and less respect for those who want to "diss" the UK and "jump ship". Good and bad everywhere, but we still have to take our lives with us in our head, and if there's a gap and something missing in our life in one country, we'll likely find we can't fill that gap elsewhere either.

 

These are my abstract thoughts / philosophy on 'life, the universe, Adelaide and everything' and in NO way refer specifically to anyone on PIA or on this thread!!!!!!!

 

The problem with reality TV is it's not reality at all! It's Good TV.

[Guest moonraker1959]

So true sallyh!!! I've said this before,but there is a line in a Harry Chapin song that goes....."Sometimes I get this crazy dream,where I just take off in my car,but you can travel on 10,000 miles and still be where you are!

[Anne B]

I agree, a great post Cadas. Moving to the other side of the world is a really extreme thing to do, and the tv shows paint such an unrealistic rosy picture, and give the impression that somehow magically everything in your life will come good.

 

I'm not saying life isn't better here, because in many ways (but not all) it is - but it's not going to solve all your problems. It will solve some but will also create new ones you haven't yet imagined.

[Guest Cadas]

Agree with all that, particularly the comments about 'if you had issues before you came, a new country won't fix them......'. Emigrating to escape rarely works. For instance, friends who ran up massive credit bills jump ship to a new country, and did the same again... Now they can't go home and can't stay where they are.

 

I think what us often overlooked is the stress of relocating, and I don't mean the packing, leaving family etc.

 

If you head home because youre homesick it's down to you, nothing to do with the country.

 

It's the underlying stress, the unfamiliarity.... Everything as simple as applying for phones, services, family allowance.... Everything, us unfamiliar and that causes nervousness, feelings of uncertainty and that causes stress. And that just accumulates every day with each new task.

 

As I said before, I've learnt to relish the new challenge each country brings, but you have to, in my opinion, become reactive and somewhat passive... Learn to adapt to the pace of the new country, things will always happen at their pace, not yours. After all, Australians have been living there a bit longer than you and things will happen their way whether you like it or not.