Guest guest569

Going back ???

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    Guest guest569

    Sadly there seems to be quite a few people returning to the uk and having to sell off all their aussie belongings. Whats going on ??? Were all these people unhappy / unsure from day one or what ???

    Adelaide was not what i expected it to be as i had never been to Oz before i came blind. It took me 3 years to join the "love it " brigade although all the time i knew it was better than where i had left behind, it was not the paradise i expected.

    Even if i had hated it i would have stuck at it for the citizenship for my kids !!!!!!

    Is it really all that bad for people to pack up after such short amounts of time ????

    No offence meant to anyone in the returning process as i'm sure they all have good reasons and only they can decide whats best for them and theirs ...:wubclub:

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    Guest Devon

    For us I think if we had been on pr from day one it would have been a different story :sad: However after three years had finally given up on the constant fight to stay. Now although we have just got pr if we don't go back now we would never be able to afford to if things didn't improve financially. I would now be able to go for the jobs I wanted to do but unfortunately it is too late now. It is great here but to be honest it has made us appreciate the life we had before. We didn't hate the UK and had a good life there. Just wanted something different. I now miss being able to pop off to somewhere in Europe for the weekend like we used to do. There are loads of things I will miss about Adelaide especially the great friends I made here when I was finally allowed to work. It was an experience though and some of the people I got to know are already making arrangements to come back to the UK and visit with one already having actually booked and paid for her and her husband's flights so I'm even boosting the UK tourist market:biglaugh: When we first made arrangements to go it was weeks away but soon goes quickly. Only four more sleeps to go :shocked:

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    Oh, Guys, thats so sad!

     

    You gave it a go, and thats the important thing.

    Oz isnt for everyone; and not all have had positive experiences, but i take my hat off to those who are brave enough to go back.

     

    Like Maggie, this lady aint for turning, even being this fresh off the boat, i know going back isnt an option for me.............................

     

    Barring family issues, i dont wanna even go back for a visit, and having elderly rels, some of whom are on their lazzies, i dread the fact.

     

    GOOD LUCK to each of you, and VIA CON DIOS

     

    xx

    Jane

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    Guest thebaddeleys

    You know on the poms in Oz forum they have a section for people who are considering going back home or have already gone back.... maybe its time we got one too??? x x x :unsure:

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    Guest mayjess

    There are lots of reasons why some go back to the UK, a lot is to do with the pull of home,and the familiarity we miss, faces we know etc etc, personally my reason to come back was missing home but also it being so tough to settle in OZ, getting a job you like, having decent friends, and the kids settling, one of mine settled great the other did not, also having someone very close diagnosed with a terminal illness didnt help, so yep there are tons of reasons why ppl choose to come back, I dont think there is just one reason, its a number of reasons that all add up until one day its the final reason thats the straw that broke the camels back! I personally dont think there is enough help for those who struggle to settle, like a community based organisation just for Brits who need some advice and do some networking! (maybe there is my chance to get something up & running)

     

    Anyways lots come back the UK, get themselves sorted mentally and then decide to give it another try, like us! we want to give it another go & maybe we are wiser and stronger emotionally and emntally to make it work this time, who knows, at least we are going to try.

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    Good Question.Hmmm!Each of us arrived here in different circumstances, some have little kids,some have grown up kids,some had a job to come to,some not ,some have visited before,some never knew what to expect,some had a reasonably good life in the UK,some did not,and some have prospered here,some not,and some miss family/home too much,so obviously its not for everybody.There are a thousand different reasons why people go back,and each family that does knows that its the right thing for them,and i respect them for that.Good luck to them,its their descision,and they do not have to feel they need to explain themselves to the "Adelaide Appreciation Society."Personally,i like Adelaide,and after 8 months here,me and my wife still dont know what lies in the future(we came here for a better future for our teenage sons)We both now have decent jobs, and so do they,but then we had a good lifestyle back home,so i can really see the turmoil we all go through,as we decide.Best of luck to those who stay,and best of luck to those who go back,at least we all gave it a go,whatever the outcome will be.

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    Guest Fancy a Beer
    Even if i had hated it i would have stuck at it for the citizenship for my kids !!!!!!

     

     

    Yeah have to say I dont get it either, all that hassle and hard work to get here and some give up so easily to go back, maybe they are not the fighters they thought they were??

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    Guest mayjess
    Yeah have to say I dont get it either, all that hassle and hard work to get here and some give up so easily to go back, maybe they are not the fighters they thought they were??

     

    Thats really easy to say when you have a family member dying back home and a child crying to go home everyday even after 12 mths of being there! like i said before everyone has their reasons and everyone has the right to decide what they want to do, if that means come & go 10 times before settling in OZ, then so be it, then thats what they want to do, doesnt affect anyone but themselves, so I personally cannot see the problem!

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    Guest Libby1971

    Oh come on, that's not fair. Sticking it out for citizenship is fine when you are on a PR and only have to wait 2 years. For those with temp residency, there is the stress of having to fulfil visa requirements including hours to be worked, without any income through family benefits which causes alot of financial worry. For some people, being here is hard, very hard, and if they feel that there is something better back in UK, neither you or I can or should judge them.

     

    I knew I was coming here to get citizenship and that would take 2 years. I felt very low about six months and only the thought that I had 18 more months to go max made it manageable. If I had thought I had years to go before citizenship, I think I'd have been tempted to go.

     

    We came and it was esay for us. No parents or grandparents. One sister, one brother and an aunt. Close enough to love but not close enough to leave Aus for. If we'd absolutely hated it here then we'd have gone somewhere else but our life in UK was horrible anyway.

     

    I think it takes more guts to go back than stay. Having to recreate a life you had before, how do you do that?

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    Guest mayjess

    Thanks Libby, you have some understanding in how difficult it actually is to make the desicion to go back. It is definatley not a spur of the moment desicion, no way. Once you are back its also a hard slog looking for a house, job and shifting back to a fast pace way of life!

     

    Is it the end of the world to come back? and is it the end of the world going back to OZ? why is such a major ordeal to some people? you did it once, you can certainly do it again,(if thats what you want) some stay back in the UK and are very happy & settled, if you go back, then you go back with a very different outlook, I dont think we will be the first and definately we wont be the last ping pongers!!!!

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    Guest Devon
    Yeah have to say I dont get it either, all that hassle and hard work to get here and some give up so easily to go back, maybe they are not the fighters they thought they were??

     

    Then there are those that don't need to fight at all! I think we gave it our best shot. We eventually had enough and couldn't afford to wait another year for citizenship after three years here on the temp visa. I wasn't allowed to work for the first two years and had to go back to the UK last year to sort that side of it out. Then when I got back being able to work couldn't get the jobs I was going for due to visa status. In the end I took a different job - great fun but unfortunately didn't pay the bills and after three years of eating into the savings not much left in the pot. If we hung on for that last year we would never be able to go back. It does depend what you had before and when you realise it isn't for you why would you want to wait that extra time?

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    Guest SA Great
    Oh come on, that's not fair. Sticking it out for citizenship is fine when you are on a PR and only have to wait 2 years. For those with temp residency, there is the stress of having to fulfil visa requirements including hours to be worked, without any income through family benefits which causes alot of financial worry. For some people, being here is hard, very hard, and if they feel that there is something better back in UK, neither you or I can or should judge them.

     

    I knew I was coming here to get citizenship and that would take 2 years. I felt very low about six months and only the thought that I had 18 more months to go max made it manageable. If I had thought I had years to go before citizenship, I think I'd have been tempted to go.

     

    We came and it was esay for us. No parents or grandparents. One sister, one brother and an aunt. Close enough to love but not close enough to leave Aus for. If we'd absolutely hated it here then we'd have gone somewhere else but our life in UK was horrible anyway.

     

    I think it takes more guts to go back than stay. Having to recreate a life you had before, how do you do that?

     

    And then you have to face all the people in the UK saying "oh so you didn't like it then, I bet that cost you a fortune" cos that's what happened to a friend of mine. You know a lot of people emigrate, go back because they think of all the good things that the UK has to offer but then end up coming back again because all the reasons why they left in the first place are still there. I have seen a lot of people do that as well!!! As Sueoc said, well done for giving it a go and stuff it to all those people in the UK that just love to see someone fail. At least you all got off your asses and gave it a go. Give yourselves a huge pat on the back! Well done.

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    Guest Fancy a Beer
    Thats really easy to say when you have a family member dying back home and a child crying to go home everyday even after 12 mths of being there! like i said before everyone has their reasons and everyone has the right to decide what they want to do, if that means come & go 10 times before settling in OZ, then so be it, then thats what they want to do, doesnt affect anyone but themselves, so I personally cannot see the problem!

     

     

    I did say in my post "SOME" wasn't aimed at everyone going back just "SOME" I have heard some REALLY crap excuses for going back to the UK recently, I certainly didnt say it was the wrong thing to do, but it does seem at the moment there is a high percentage of people returning that could of seen it wasn't for them with a little research!

     

    Dont get me wrong there have been a couple of times I could of gone back, but I didnt and it is amazing how much difference a few weeks/months can make. There is no way I would ever move back to live in the UK now, but that doesnt mean I will necessarily remain in Adelaide!

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    Guest mayjess
    I did say in my post "SOME" wasn't aimed at everyone going back just "SOME" I have heard some REALLY crap excuses for going back to the UK recently, I certainly didnt say it was the wrong thing to do, but it does seem at the moment there is a high percentage of people returning that could of seen it wasn't for them with a little research!

     

    Dont get me wrong there have been a couple of times I could of gone back, but I didnt and it is amazing how much difference a few weeks/months can make. There is no way I would ever move back to live in the UK now, but that doesnt mean I will necessarily remain in Adelaide!

     

     

    A lot of what you are saying is right, sometimes staying longer may help, but so does coming back, as you can then learn from where you think you went wrong, I also agree to some extent your comment on not being the fighter you thought you were, I suppose we think we can do things that is until you actually go & try to do them things! I really wish our timing for going was different, as everything that could go wrong, did, at that particular time.

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    We can all research our Bo....Ks off,but,unfortunately reality aint allways what we expect!That's Life.

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    Guest SA Great
    We can all research our Bo....Ks off,but,unfortunately reality aint allways what we expect!That's Life.

     

    Very true!!! We came to Adelaide because of all of the electronic companies situated at Technology Park. It sounded like a silicone valley of the southern hemisphere. Well....what a disappointment. There were two companies and both of those were crap!!! Oh well. Time to either return or re-train and we chose the latter. Of course we didn't have the luxury of the internet 18 years ago!!

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    Guest mayjess

    I would just like to say,~ GOODLUCK~ to anyone heading back, I know how hard it is leaving such a beautiful country but not feel like you can stay. Anyone who is thinking of ping ponging ~GOODLUCK~ to you aswell, we`l need it. we are either mad or very wise, we prob wont know yet?

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    Guest sjs
    There are lots of reasons why some go back to the UK, a lot is to do with the pull of home,and the familiarity we miss, faces we know etc etc, personally my reason to come back was missing home but also it being so tough to settle in OZ, getting a job you like, having decent friends, and the kids settling, one of mine settled great the other did not, also having someone very close diagnosed with a terminal illness didnt help, so yep there are tons of reasons why ppl choose to come back, I dont think there is just one reason, its a number of reasons that all add up until one day its the final reason thats the straw that broke the camels back! I personally dont think there is enough help for those who struggle to settle, like a community based organisation just for Brits who need some advice and do some networking! (maybe there is my chance to get something up & running)

     

    Anyways lots come back the UK, get themselves sorted mentally and then decide to give it another try, like us! we want to give it another go & maybe we are wiser and stronger emotionally and emntally to make it work this time, who knows, at least we are going to try.

     

    Good and honest post! I have loved it since I got here but have always been honest with myself and said who knows what will happen in the future I may want to go back - I may not. I think a big part of peoples problems when they arrive is that they have not prepared enough - mentally - mentally you have to be strong and be able to rationalise - the reasons for coming and leaving 'home'. I know that I desperately miss my family and friends but that I think Australia is a great place and a place I want my kids to gorow up so that outweighs any doubts I may have about coming here. Sometimes I feel selfish for taking my kids away from their Aunties/cousins/granparents but then I rationalise and think they are better off growing up here so I am doing what I believe is best for my kids - anyway rant over xx

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    Guest cunnah10
    For us I think if we had been on pr from day one it would have been a different story :sad: However after three years had finally given up on the constant fight to stay. Now although we have just got pr if we don't go back now we would never be able to afford to if things didn't improve financially. I would now be able to go for the jobs I wanted to do but unfortunately it is too late now. It is great here but to be honest it has made us appreciate the life we had before. We didn't hate the UK and had a good life there. Just wanted something different. I now miss being able to pop off to somewhere in Europe for the weekend like we used to do. There are loads of things I will miss about Adelaide especially the great friends I made here when I was finally allowed to work. It was an experience though and some of the people I got to know are already making arrangements to come back to the UK and visit with one already having actually booked and paid for her and her husband's flights so I'm even boosting the UK tourist market:biglaugh: When we first made arrangements to go it was weeks away but soon goes quickly. Only four more sleeps to go :shocked:

    oh my golly Cath.....just days to go now!

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    Guest cunnah10

    couldn't agree more !!!:notworthy::notworthy::notworthy::notworthy:

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    Guest The Pottertons

    Really interesting to read all the posts on here and i strongly feel that people need to make the right decision for them....there isnt a wrong decision if it will make you happy. Happiness is afterall the one worthwhile achievement we can attain for ourselves and our families and if that is coming home then thats absolutely the right thing...if its ping ponging then if it brings you to a happier place in life..well you'de be a fool not to. There is a stigma i feel to going back to the U.K but there shouldnt be really...we are all just working really hard to make a difference in our lives! Good luck to you all!!!! I personally think you're really brave:notworthy: Yvonne xx

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    Guest Sharon and Paul

    Thanks for that Libby, we are coming over permantly (hopefully) the end of June 09, and I'm getting a bit nervous/scared about the big move but want to give it a damn good go for our children and all of our futures, I know I'll miss the family and freinds but would like to think that we will be able to make some new freindships is Oz. It won't be easy along with finding work and housing but hopefully this site and other sites like this will give us the help, support and encouragement we will need when the going gets tough.

    Thanks again Sharon

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    Guest rowy

    Well reading these posts gives you the jitters over this side, esp as my Mum has just had a Heart Attack and my Dad -in- Law a Quadruple By Pass, and people in work are saying to me..your not still going now are you?? The guilt is awful, and then worrying who will look after the oldies? But my little one is four and I think of a life for her that is safer than the UK and healthier. If it doesnt work at least we gave it a go. My Dad says Life is not a Rehersal and he is so right, Penny

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    Guest Rob and Clare

    The only things that suprises me about this post is why people are suprised about people returning to the UK. Over 60% of British migrants return to the UK within a 5 year period.

     

    I have no idea about what makes one person stay and another return, I know of a family here who seemed to arrive on the dream of what life would be like here without a shred of research and they are still here after 4 years. Another friend took years to migrate here, researched everything they could and even got a degree to get the points required, they lasted just 3 months. One more friend returned to the UK for a holiday one Christmas and his wife refused to come back to Australia saying life here was just to brown, dirty and depressing.

     

    Good luck though to everyone with their choices.

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