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    Thread: More homesick now than ever before

    1. #1

      More homesick now than ever before

      I'm a young(ish!) mum of 2 little kids (3 and 2 yrs old) and come this Sept will have been living in Adelaide for 3 years.

      I don't know whether it's got something to do with the fact that it's 'summer' in the UK, but I seem to be having a really tough time of it at the moment, and find myself constantly breaking down in floods of tears about how homesick I am. I don't think it's the country I miss, but the people and the lifestyle I had before I moved out here. Most people said it would take at least a couple of years before this felt like home, and I admit I almost got there, but it feels like I'm going backwards.

      When we first arrived, I made a real effort to join a local mothers' group and became quite friendly with a couple of girls - albeit in the Norwood area, where we were first living. I then moved to Happy Valley, took on a full time job and now struggle to find the time to work, be a mum, keep on top of the house, feed/cloth/wash everyone and keep myself sane. I just figure in the UK I would have more of a support network to help me with all this.

      Plus my Mum and Dad (who live in the south of France) dropped the bombshell that they are returning to the UK in a couple of years and were considering getting into property development, and would I be interested? Talk about dangling a carrot!!! I have made a Pros and Cons list on Oz, and obviously the Pros list was far longer, but that doesn't seem to help!!

      Am I going mental?!
      rowy likes this.

    2. #2

      Senior Member
      Join Date
      May 2009
      52 times


      Hiya, My husband just showed me your message as you have just summed up how I have been feeling (with the exception of my parents wanting me to go into property development that is)!

      You are not alone, and most certainly not mental! Well done you for lasting this long without the severe homesick feeling. We have been here about 7 weeks now, and I really love it here and don't regret it, but I honestly had no idea I would miss all my family and friends this much.

      It is so hard juggling work and a young family without your support network around you. I also feel riddled with guilt for taking the children away from their Grandparents. There must be something in the air as it has been the most tearful week for me so far.

      Your doing the right thing with your list though, having not long left the UK I remember only too well the reasons we left in the first place. Wish you all the best in getting through this low phase. Remember your not alone and it will soon be time for our summer x
      rowy likes this.

    3. #3

      Senior Member
      Join Date
      Jan 2008
      68 times
      I'm sure it's the weather making us feel this way...............ur not on your own..! We've been here 12 months now and for me its the first time real homesickness has hit! I really miss family and friends and the familiarity of life ........but on the other hand love it here and don't want to go back to the UK....so it makes no sense really. Think its just part of the course.........our neighbours who are poms have been here 26 years say the best cure is to go back to UK for a holiday ...........so we may just do that..... but for tonight we shall enjoy the wine and keep warm... ;)
      rowy likes this.

    4. #4

      Junior Member
      Join Date
      May 2010
      17 times
      Hey Carla,

      Really sympathise with how you're feeling at the moment. Got to agree with what the other posters have said. Doing a list should have really helped to focus the mind.
      I'm not an authority on these matters, but i have been in a position where i've been homesick whilst travelling in australia (i travelled there for a year) and came through the other side. At the worst time, around about a third of my time over there i suffered from several panic attacks! Staying though was the best thing i've ever done (apart from getting married!).

      If i could give you any advice it would be to build on the list that you'e already done. Try and identify what it is that would make you happy in Oz. At the very least should give you something to work towards, although this won't happen overnight.
      It seems that from the list your head is telling you to stay but your heart is saying something else. You WILL get through this if you really want to and you'll be stronger for it. The fact that you're bringing up a couple of kids without a support network is brilliant - kudos to you for doing it! :-)

      As for support networks, you say that your parents are in France. If you were back in the UK what would be different? Yes you'd have friends around you but what in reality would be different? (I imagine that you'd still have to juggle a full time job with bringing up your kids). I agree with what taffordbark says - maybe come back to the Uk and find out. At least that should help. (Have you had a trip back to the UK in the three years that you've been in Adelaide?)

      From what you've already written i can tell that you're a strong person, but everyone needs a hand every now and then. I sincerley hope that you get through this difficult spell, but rest assured that you will make the right decision in the end.

      Take care

    5. #5

      Join Date
      Jun 2010
      6 times
      Crikey something must be in the air!!!

      Its very very hard, we have only been here 4 weeks and god i miss my mum, the kids have been playing up a treat!! There's really no break at all, it makes us realise just how much we relied on my mum and dads help.
      I cant really give you any advice, but i just keep remembering why we did this in the first place!!
      There are plenty of us out here so no excuses not to get together and have a chat to help each other, just shout!!

      Hang in there

      Candia (38) Dave (37) Logan (6) Jake (3)


    6. #6

      Join Date
      Sep 2008
      1423 times
      My thoughts go out to al you guys having a hard time of it right now.....you will/do miss friends and family i know i do.
      I have a little boy back in the UK whom i miss terribly, i call him and chat on skype facebook etc etc, but its the hardest call i ever have to make i never saw him for 4 years as his mum stopped me from seeing him.

      I beat myself up when i dont call him and then i feel like crap after i have called him......there are times when i feel like the worst dad in the world, i have a great family both here and back in the UK who realise what we have done and why we have done it.

      I know that its bloody hard you gotta try and keep focussed on the reasons why you came here, and keep posting on here and mingling with positive forward thinking people, share your sad times and your good times......no-one ever said that moving to the other side of the world would be easy.

      You know we are all here for everyone for help/advice or shoulders to cry on.

      Good luck and keep the faith in what you have done.

      Last edited by HEAPS GOOD !!!; 18-07-2010 at 01:14 AM. Reason: writing in the dark/spelling
      rowy likes this.

    7. #7
      hi carla

      ive been here 1yr now and im finding it hard to cope with the homesickness, so my lovely hubby bought me a plane ticket home and im goning to have a 3 week holiday to see if that helps. it has helped a bit even knowing i have that to look forward to. adelaide is beautiful and i love it but i totally underestimated how much i would miss my family and friends. good luck with everything xxx

    8. #8
      Just wanted to say a massive thank you to all of you who took the time to write back on this thread. It certainly helps knowing that it's not just me, and that all the emotions - confusing as they are - are totally normal! Helen - I am certainly looking forward to summer coming back around! I struggle to find fun things to do with the kiddies when the weather is poor - but I guess if I was living in the UK I would have to cope with that a lot more!

      I did take a trip back to the UK and France for 3 weeks in Feb to go celebrate my Mum's 60th birthday, and within 30 mins of getting off the plane at Heathrow I could already feel my stress levels increasing as the taxi driver was itching to get going as our flight was delayed and he had another job he had to be at. The traffic/weather/amount of people over there was HORRENDOUS but it did snow twice which was lovely for the kids!

    9. #9

      Senior Member
      Join Date
      Jun 2008
      Highbury, SA
      4221 times
      Even after nearly six years here, I still get that feeling when the weather is cold here whilst everyone in the UK is off on their hols.... And the grandchildren guilt thing gets no easier ever - especially as both my parents and in laws are either late 70s or eearly 80s so it feels like the dreaded clock is ticking faster and faster....

      For me, one solution is to buy a copy of the International Express - I know it's terribly biased reporting, and nothing like reality, but reading about a kid getting knifed on every street corner, the corruption in politics and all the other bandwagons the Express loves to leap on, makes me feel slightly better about being here rather than there! Won't work for everyone, I know, but helps me....
      Scrappin' Julie likes this.
      Sometimes the grass will appear greener on the other side because it has been fertilised by bull****

    10. #10
      Scrappin' Julie
      You're doing Fab Carla - let it out on here and you will get so much support...everyone is so helpful on here and a problem shared is def a problem halved


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