The worse day of my life

[janice1uk]

We fly to tomorrow to our new life in Adelaide. The thing is I am leaving 3 older children and 5 grandchildren behind. My 4 younger children are coming with us. I have cried all day. Picking the children up from there last day at school was bad enough. Some of my son friends (8 year olds) were heart broken and begging me to let him stay which was heartbreaking. Then tonight saying bye to my two daughters and their children, someone may has well just ripped out my heart out. Why am I doing this I am sat here asking myself. My son didn't come to say goodbye as he said he could not handle it. So I'm sat here sobbing. I know it's going to be hard I just underestimated how hard it was going to be saying goodbye.

[Guest RobJ1978]

((((((hugs))))))) think i might do a midnight flit!

[Guest bidsandrew]

It is so hard but if its what you want then it will be so worth it. I have not left any children in the UK but I can only imagine the pain that you must be feeling. I know my mum left my brother in South Africa when we moved to the UK 15 years ago and she said that the heartache was almost unbearable. My parents did it for me and to give me a better life and I can say that it was the best thing they every did. I had an amazing 15 years in the UK.

 

Picking my kids up from school was so hard too, again I didnt realise how hard all the goodbyes were going to be but I bet if you talk to anyone on here or anyone who has done it they will say the same so you are not alone. there seems to be quite a few people who are leaving older children behind so maybe one of them can offer you some reassurance.

 

You will be fine im sure and the lifestyle here is amazing and will be great for your younger ones. will your older children and grandchildren maybe join you one day?

 

I really do feel for you and I hope your son does manage to say a goodbye to you. You will both regret it if you dont and yes it will be tough and maybe he is "punishing" you for leaving but you should really encourage him to come and say goodbye.

 

Have a safe flight!

 

Bridget

[Tamara (Homes Down Under)]

I am so sorry to hear this. It is such a rollercoaster of emotion.

Leaving friends and family behind is just so difficult and you do question whether it's the right move. The move can cause such rifts in families and I hope that it doesn't occur within your family. My own father left the UK many years ago with myself and my brother when we were children and his father never forgave him. He was always great with me and his great granchildren though.

My own daughter left 13 weeks ago with the three grandchildren so I have experience of the pain on both sides.

 

i know that it's small consolation but the world is a smaller place with video skype and instant communication...I hope that you have the strength to get through this difficult and stressful period.

 

my thoughts are with you.

 

Tamara

[Diane]

The English language lets us down sometimes - we really need the equivalent of "au revoir". Goodbyes are never easy but just keep focussing on the reasons you decided to do this in the first place and try to force your mind to look forwards, not backwards. Everyone that matters to you will still be there, you will still see them and talk to them often, albeit maybe through Skype rather than face to face... take it one day at a time, it does get better, I promise you!

[Guest Adelaide_bound]

Try and remember the reasons you wanted to move in the first place, it might help a little. I know its hard, but there must be some good reasons, or you wouldn't be going (either that or you are a bit mental ).

 

Australia isn't a black hole - yes it is a very long plane flight, but its only that - a looong plane ride to see people in the flesh. Its not a box you aren't allowed out of, and its not a jail where no-one is allowed to visit.

 

I'm sure you thought long and hard about this all through the process, so go back to your original thoughts, and take comfort in the right you are doing and that its not the end of things, just a new shiny start - if nothing ever changed life would be very very deathly dull after all (and that is a stubborn change hating through and through Taurean saying that, so it must have some truth in it lol).

 

Chin up, worse things happen at sea and remind yourself you will see them lots, on Skype and in person, and there are good reasons why you are going.

 

Hugs xx

[minty]

Aw Janice. Things will get better and they will visit. Time is a great healer and Skype is great for keeping in touch. Remember why you are doing this and keep focused.

 

See you over here, the Bacons.

[snifter]

Awww I don't have words. It must be so so hard.

 

Have some virtual hugs and look forward, not back, where possible. As has been said, there is Skype, letters, email and visits. I know its not the same as being with them, but if they are all older and out living their lives, try to take comfort in the knowledge you played the most important part in them getting there, doing that and you'll always be their Mum and Gran, no matter where you are.

[Guest dalton]

I so know how you are feeling ,it is soooo painful leaving your family and friends you do think what on earth am i doing ???? but once you are on that plane you have to look forward to your new life in Adelaide !!! we have been here since September and i have got to say skype and facetime is just great to keep in touch its definately a lifeline !!! so big hug and good luck you will be all fine i'm sure Cathy x

[laura girling]

The pain and heart ache will be raw for a while, then you will be so busy, getting the kids sorted in schools ,finding a home ect, then when you have settled yourselves you'll begin to chillax, your children will visit you and I bet one by one they'll not want to return to the Uk and they will emigrate too, and also what a great example of a strong Mother you are a great role model for your kids, showing them you can do this, well done.

Ps I had a little tear reading your letter, big hugs to you, if you need a shoulder to cry on when you get here, look us up xxxx

[coolerking]

We fly to tomorrow to our new life in Adelaide. The thing is I am leaving 3 older children and 5 grandchildren behind. My 4 younger children are coming with us. I have cried all day. Picking the children up from there last day at school was bad enough. Some of my son friends (8 year olds) were heart broken and begging me to let him stay which was heartbreaking. Then tonight saying bye to my two daughters and their children, someone may has well just ripped out my heart out. Why am I doing this I am sat here asking myself. My son didn't come to say goodbye as he said he could not handle it. So I'm sat here sobbing. I know it's going to be hard I just underestimated how hard it was going to be saying goodbye.

 

Obviously hard, but make sure you allow yourself to give it a go here. Make sure the kids enjoy their journey and let yourself relax, a little.

 

See you soon,

Cooler

[Guest ladyarkles]

Can't add much to what everyone else has said, so just sending you a (virtual) hug.

 

~ Rachel

[trevorpayne]

Its has to be one of the hardest things and even on the plane I sat there reflecting have I made the right decision.

I now know we have, been here just short of 6 months and my only regret is not coming sooner .

My daughter loves it here great school ,friends etc we spend most evenings at beach until sunset and weekends feel like a mini break.

We have just had Australia day which I thought was great and all because of the spirit of the place, communities offering services not for financial gain but for free.

Big groups of families and friends enjoying spending a day together.

 

Adelaide doesn't offer the busy life style and attractions like Sydney , Brisbane but does offer lots of small beautiful places,beaches, towns, country side too many to name.

 

All the best on your arrival.

[snifter]

I know you are probably in the air flying to Adelaide as I type, but just wanted to say I was thinking about you today and hope you are doing ok.

 

Be sure to let us know once you arrive safely (when internet connections allow) and keep us posted. Look forward to also hearing how you settle in to Adelaide life. We'll be out next year and I know even though its a long way off yet, even though I know what we face, it won't be easy saying those goodbyes. Feel free to drop me a PM anytime if you want to chat.

 

*hugs*

[Guest lyn]

Wow! I've been really inspired by all the wonderful things people have been saying to you on this thread. I can't think of anything more to add except "big hugs" to you and your family and we are all thinking of you.

 

All the best for the next part of life's journey. We are all behind you.

 

Lyn x

[diggerlcfc]

Aw Janice, it must be really hard for you at the mo (i can only imagine), but like everyone else has said keep strong and focused because you do have your younger kids to think of and this being the reason for your move to Australia, your family in time will get used to the idea of you being as will you them being in the uk, i think it is really important to keep in touch with them and it wont seem that they are to far away, although they are only a plane flight away or a phone call.

Chin up girl you will be fine

[janice1uk]

Thank you all for your lovely comments. I have been in adelaide 4 days now and yes i have missed my kids back home but to see what a life my younger kids can have here has made it all worth while. I know in time they will get used to the idea and soon they will be coming for extra long holidays. Thanks again poms in Adelaide for all your support.

[minty]

Thank you all for your lovely comments. I have been in adelaide 4 days now and yes i have missed my kids back home but to see what a life my younger kids can have here has made it all worth while. I know in time they will get used to the idea and soon they will be coming for extra long holidays. Thanks again poms in Adelaide for all your support.

 

Glad you have arrived safely and feel better.

[ajford]

Welcome to Adelaide ,you will find your feet, just take one day at a time,if you need help remember to ask,

All the best

[barbaitch]

I'm sorry you're so sad about leaving so many of your close family behind in the UK, Janice. The flight to Adelaide must have been torture! It's such a difficult time for you all, and I do wish you the best of everything in the coming weeks and months ahead, as you acclimatise to your new life -- and the weather. It'll take a while to get used to things in Adelaide but I hope you do settle down in your new life very soon. Remember Skype for regular contact - and it costs nothing. It'll be a big comfort at times of homesickness, although there's no substitute for hugs, we know. Keep posting on PomsInAdelaide/PomsInOz; it will help to know there are many, many people in a similar situation to yourselves, as I'm sure you'll find out once you get settled in Oz.

 

Before you know it, the kids you left behind will start visiting, I'm sure. Who knows, you might even all end up in Oz together. It wouldn't be the first time two or three generations have made the move!

 

All good wishes to you all!