ozzieclare2be

advice needed

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    Well im now having second thoughts about going back to the uk but not sure if i can stay here as a single mum in essence. Reasons for going back are because me and husband and i have split for those who didnt know. The house is sold, not much to do and now im having second thoughts as my brother arrives in less than 2weeks. Everything seems so difficult at the moment and im scared of making the wrong decision arghhh!!

     

    Been looking at rentals etc and wondering how im going to be able to cope , but believe you get rent assistance etc. Does anyone have anything coming up to rent in the south under 275 a week lol, :huh:

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    Hi Clare, yes you will get rent assistance and I think it works out at quite a bit, just seen that Lisa (Happychick) is advertising her rental on here, its really nice - lovely garden too - would be ideal for you. Good Luck with whatever you decide to do - You've worked so hard at making a life out here for yourself and Alex why not give it a go - No one has taken away your passport so if it doesn't work out you can always go back, and having your brother coming and some rellies here mst be a bonus.

     

    Like I said good luck - you are a strong person, who has a good support network and a job that you love, if anyone can make it work then you can!

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    thanks lynsey gonna take a look at rentals, just seemed so easy to pack up and go back but i feel like i will regret it :arghh:

     

    Hi Clare,

     

    As you are already here why don't you give yourself another 1 year living here in Adelaide and see how you get on. If after that time you decide to move back to England then you will know that you have given it your best shot and not lost anything.

    Its difficult when emotions are running high but don't be hasty in thinking you have to go back to England. Think of the future you could have here and the reasons you first came here.

    Also have a look at Units for renting, this could be a cheaper option for you. With all the parks and beaches around you really don't need a big place.

    Good luck in whatever you decide.

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    Guest redfoxy
    thanks lynsey gonna take a look at rentals, just seemed so easy to pack up and go back but i feel like i will regret it :arghh:

     

    Hi Clare,

     

    I have see you post on here a few times and wondered why you were goinging back. I am sure many others feel as I do, sorry for you as especially with kids it is hard and you must feel vulnerable all this way from what is home to british and especially those in need. The fact that your brother is coming out mean that you will have support here and I sppouse if you were to go back it all depends on what you are going back to and finances.

    If you were to meet someone else here then it would make it all different I suppose.

    I dont know your whole situation but I would say, stay a while it you can and wait for your brother and family. Could they not rent a home with a nice annex for you even ?

     

    Perhaps stay another summer and see what happens ??

     

    My sympanthy and good wishes , Lynne xx

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    HI Clare

     

    what a dilemma eh i feel for you !!

    If u check on realestate.com under rentals, theres about 12 within ur budget in the seaford/seaford rise areas, theres even one on ur street up for rent, no 13, u could chuck ya furniture there from ur house

     

    no advice really just wanted to wish u well in whatever u decide

     

    Dawn xx

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    Guest the4hopes

    Hi Clare,

    There must be so much more for you here than the uk, apart from family obviously.You will be fine here you just need a lot of support, there are still loads more people to meet on here

    Laura x

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    thankyou, people have been truly great. Ive got to do whats best for Alex at the end of the day i guess and if that means struggling on here for a bit on my own then i will. xx

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    Guest Nick11

    Good luck babes with what ever you decide. If you decide to stay - then at least you can say you gave it a go.

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    Hi Clare

     

    Just wanted to wish you luck with your decision and hope it all works out for you. I think you're wise to consider staying as Alex will certainly benefit...

     

    Best wishes

    Dette :)

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    Guest UzinOz

    It's really hard to comment unless you have been in your situation but all I can say is don't have any regrets, give it a go, you can always go back if it doesn't work out.

     

    Good luck Claire I really hope it works out for you, whatever you decide!!

     

    Jackie

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    Guest Lulujim

    Hi Clare,

     

    I know it's easy for me to say.. but my advice would be to stay for a year and see how it goes.

    Esp as Alex is so young, you could do another year here, and if you went back to the UK he'd still be the right age for school and wouldn't have missed anything.

     

    I wonder if you go back would you wonder how it would have been here?

     

    This is such an enormous decision, I wish I could be more help!!

     

    There are lots of friends I'm sure to help with the odd night babysitting/sleepovers etc.. to help you out - and childminders too to give you a break.

     

    I hope you are ok,

    Take care Alexis x

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    Hi Clare

     

    You always sounded really positive about making the move and also when being here.

     

    I think deep down you know what you want to do, hope it works out for you.

     

    I would be happy to offer you a free financial planning consultation if that might help.

     

    Regards

     

    Andy

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    Thankyou so so much for your kind words of support, and offers of help via pm people really are truly amazing on here xx.

     

    Well ive mulled it over for weeks and weeks and i know deep down if i go back i may never get this chance again. I have to put Alex first in all this and i know his life will be 100% better here. Its been difficult to say the least since day one as ive been propping up a marriage and forced into making all the decisions for someone else, now it comes to making my own i think i just took what i thought might be the easier option when in fact its tons easier to stay.

     

    Looking at 2 rentals later today, ones next door to me!! What a co-incidence !!!:wideeyed:

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    Guest katsmajic

    Hiya hun, glad things are looking a bit clearer for you finally and fab news that your bro arrives so soon too.

    Hopefully catch up soon xxxxx

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    Guest mOZzy

    good on you for giving it another go!!!

    you've spent so much energy and time and effort and money to get there in the first place - now give it your best shot and i do hope you'll see things much more positive in the near future :cute:

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    Hi Clare,

     

    I just wanted to wish you the very best of luck in whatever you decide to do. You are a hardworking and positive person, so I'm sure things will work out for you.

     

    Cx

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    Hi Clare

    I've never met you in person, but I really feel for you. You've managed to get over the hard part of coming over here, have rellies coming to visit and obviously have some great friends so.....

    you can go back anytime, but to try and return again in the future may be hard.

    as a single parent there is lots of help available, you become eligable for more benefits which will help tide you over.

    Sometimes it is easier to get where you want to be when you only have to make decisions for yourself(and kids in your case).

    Good luck with what you decide. Fingers crossed for your future life.

     

    Rachel

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    You have my sympathies. I have been in a very similar situation. I would suggest that you contact Centrelink before you make any decisions about renting a house. As a single parent (and not working) you can get single parent pension and some rent assistance, but it really is only just enough to get by on. You might possibly qualify for a bond through the Housing Trust as well. If you do stay and have any equity from your house sale I'd suggest trying to buy another smaller place. I made the mistake of renting as I only had a small sum of money in the bank, and am still renting 8 years later as I no longer have the means of getting a deposit together.

     

    It's not easy being a single mum, but it is do-able. Give it a lot of thought though.

     

     

     

    Just an afterthought ....... I don't know your situation but it might be worth getting some legal advice regarding the possibility of taking your child out of Australia, if your ex hubby is still a resident here. This is really important if you are an Australian Citizen as the courts can block you taking a child overseas.

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    Good on ya chick if you stay on....you have a big circle of friends whom i am sure will always be there for you should you want owt...me n Kat will thats for sure xx

     

    You know where we are ;-)

     

    HG

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    Guest ems

    Hi Clare

    Sorry to hear your news.

    Just wanted to wish you all the best for whatever decision to come to. As people have said if you want to stay why not give it a go, don't let the single parent aspect get in the way of living your dream if Oz is where you want to be. It's not easy being here by yourself but i'm sure you have a great network of people here already for support. Afraid i can't advise on things you get as a single parent as only on a temp visa,the main bit's i'm aware of are the rent assistance and family tax benefit part A & B which you prob already know about (been looking a bit for the future lol).

    Good luck Clare.x

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    Guest Libby1971

    I think you've done so well coping with all this

     

    Whatever happens you have done the absolute best you can/ could for Alex so onwards and upwards

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    I think you've done so well coping with all this

     

    Whatever happens you have done the absolute best you can/ could for Alex so onwards and upwards

     

    occasionally i am found rocking in a corner and dribbling lol, the hard parts done for now, on to next chapter , thanks hun xx:)

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    Guest The Pottertons

    Wow.....it never fails to amaze me the amount of support, good wishes and advice people give on here.... Its so uplifting to read! Good Luck Clare....Looks like youve got tons of help and support coming you're way! I hope it all goes really well for you and you find a lovely rental! Yvonne x

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    Guest mayjess

    People on this site must be sick to death of me banging on about same old same old, but I really think if you can stay and give it your all before having to return, you will have no regrets, Its horrible when you return and wish you had`nt, I hope you make it work but I truley understand how hard it is and if you do decide to come back the UK its not the end of the world, wishing you loads and loads of luck and positivity Clare.

     

    Mayjess

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